A kind of therapy
By seashore
Mon, 16 May 2011
- 11828 reads
39 comments
I am ready
with my
list
I am prepared
to cry
at last
to shed the load
accumulated,
considered
for too long now
today will be the
breakthrough
I know it
I feel it
and then
the longed-for speck of light,
extinguished
in an instant
when she calls to cancel
an hour before
I leave
a coffee and doughnut
poor substitutes -
or maybe not
as in
the middle of
a crowded shopping centre
I begin to cry
coffee doughnut
tears
and they drip
and fall and puddle
as I sit helpless
my feast abandoned
until I'm all
cried out
knowing
next week's session
will be like always
the same old me
all self-control and painted
smile
and she will never
know I had it
in me
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Comments
Hi seashore, hope this has
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi seashore,
hope this has been a therapy, to write down. You
have put this poem together very well, I like the
way you describe your feelings and frustrations,
it's good to get it out, I think and you've done it
so well in this poem.
Jenny.
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Congratulations on the
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Congratulations on the Cherries seashore, well
deserved.
Jenny.
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I'm a big fan of doughnuts
I'm a big fan of doughnuts too, BUT my blood sugsr is high and I've been told to lay off until July for my next check. Pleased to see you're back in cherry mode.
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I love this, because I have
Permalink Submitted by InspiredWriter on
I love this, because I have been there except the other way around and this just... summarises it all perfectly. It takes a lot of courage to let go of that painted smile, even if it's only a councellor! Very very good
X
Noah
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Very well written and
Permalink Submitted by Overthetop1 on
Very well written and moving. A well - deserved cherry.
Overthetop1
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Wonderful, Coral. Many
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Wonderful, Coral. Many congrats on the cherry;-)
Tina
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I love doughnuts and it may
I love doughnuts and it may be the best kind of therapy- I almost cried alongside you here Coral. A really good poem- Congrats on the cherries.
;)Pia
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Dear Seashore "...the
Dear Seashore "...the longed-for speck of light..." will appear when you least expect it, I promise you.
ps.
I ate five mini-doughnuts at the beach cafe on Sunday,had to visit the...?
"...to shed the load accumulated..."
look after yourself, regards.
ScoZen
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I love this, Coral, both for
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
I love this, Coral, both for the beautiful way you've structured it and chosen your words carefully, and also because I can relate to it immensely and think you've done an amazing job at putting it across in such an effortless and sincere way.
Congrats on the cherries and hope you're in a brighter place, though it's also really admirable to see that even when in a less-bright-than-usual one you can still turn out gems like this - testament that nothing can knock that true talent of yours, both you and your writing are made of strong stuff ;o)
Always a pleasure to read something new of yours and this is no exception, really touched the heart this one and I hope you feel better for sharing it,
Rachel xx
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I know exactly what you
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
I know exactly what you mean, Coral, though I do think I am getting a little better at judging my own work as apposed to a few years back. It's since coming on Abc that I've started to truly look at just what it is I'm writing and why I'm writing it, and ultimately, how that affects the reader.
You said that you'd sat on this one for a while and I do the same - my poetry seems to either flood out in huge chunks or trickle out in couplets every now and again, either way it's generally a confusing process and takes a while for me to pull it all together, and even then I'm never sure if I've done a good job or not. That's why this place is so great, there's always someone to pull you up on anything you did or didn't execute as well as they know you could've, and always a vast array of contrasting styles of writing to read, too. You definitely executed this as well as I know you had hoped for and you managed to pull it off with an air of grace and serenity, too, which isn't an easy thing to accomplish due to the subject matter, if you ask me. Oh, and yes the humour, you do have a lovely sense of humour, Coral!
Anyway I've just seen the time, very late, but just wanted to say thank you in return for your lovely comment :o)
Take care you too,
Rachel xx
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you have done this
Permalink Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
you have done this beautifully - the image of someone crying in a shopping centre, and the wry humour - it's all very very good. Well done
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I spent yesterday mostly
I spent yesterday mostly eating doughnuts - yesterday was a good day. Insert has said this but the wry humour, particularly the ending, is done really well. Very good :-).
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That's very kind of you to
That's very kind of you to say :-)
Unfortunately i'm house buying/selling, am just about to start my gcse marking and have lost a bit of ooomph where the writing is concerned - can't think of an ending to the story i've written and don't want to write any poems until i've got that finished. I think I may be quiet now until the end of June - or might get inspired, you never know!
Still enjoying reading what others write though when I've got the time. You really should have a go at the comp though - I tried to forget the three words and just thought about beginnings and endings which is more open and like you mentioned before with prompts, this open wording didn't bring on a mental block for me, so it might not for you...anyway plenty of time; this inspiration thing is a strange beast.
ATB Fatboy
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I agree with all of the
I agree with all of the above, A really well crafted and worded poem, but with real heart and feeling, Congratulations on a richly earned cherry.
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It's hard to comment because
Permalink Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
It's hard to comment because this poem left me quite speechless. After years of counseling this poem encapsulated my exact feelings. I've cried in the middle of a shop and I've cried with a doughnut in my hand. You've said the right things with the perfect amount of words without drowning the raw feeling in frilly phrases. This piece really is beautiful.
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Nice! What can I say that
Nice! What can I say that everyone else hasn't already other than that I like the brutal honesty.
barryj1
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