A Dish Best Served Cold

By Denzella

Thu, 15 Dec 2011
  • 6518 reads
20 comments
 

A Dish Best Served Cold

I am an abandoned woman you see!
In a painful literal sense, that’s me
He’s just upped and gone is the cruel truth
Because I’ve been told he’s run off with Ruth?

Twenty-five years then ups and leaves
So while I trusted he deceives
With a slip of a girl half his age
And I am left in a terrible rage

Should’ve guessed soon as I noticed the change
But at the time washing more often didn’t seem strange
Soap, water and him had never been on friendly terms!
To my mind, his body was a breeding ground for germs

Then, it was clean socks and then CLEAN UNDIES!
Something he’d only ever done on Sundays!
So you see…all the clues were there
But I was blissfully unaware

“Are they Calvin Klein’s?” I enquired tight lipped
Because it had been some time since I’d seen him stripped.
At his age with all his dangly bits restricted like that
What if they were to drop off and land on the cat?

Well Ruth used to be Captain of the Ladies Cricket Team
Before Husband stealing became her currently favoured scheme
So if she failed to catch ‘em she would think it a fix
Though I would prefer it if she batted his balls to the boundary for six!

Then at least I would gain some small satisfaction
Because I readily admit the idea holds some attraction
I don’t see why they should get away with hurting me?
But I want something more than that… now just let me see…

I know...although I’ve heard revenge is a dish best served cold
It won’t stop me grabbing Ruth's throat in a gentle asphyxiating hold!
And visitors and friends to the house will not need their spectacles
To clearly see the glass jar where we now keep his testicles!

Certificate 15
Poem
Poems
Humour

Comments

Submitted by gerardineanne on
Hi Denzella, I've just read your profile and see you ask for constructive criticism so I will do my best.Please take this as the views of a reader.I am not an experienced writer. I thought that there were some really funny verses.Particularly liked verses3,4,5, and 6. I thought the last verse maybe could be more effective if you used less words,maybe not.Just a thought. Overall made me chuckle.And I will be looking out for these signs!

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello gerardineane, Thank you so much for taking the trouble to read my poem and better still commenting on it. As a matter of fact, I agree with your comments about the last verse. I have a tendency to write lines that are too long and you have made me more aware of this so thank you. Constructive criticism is what I want and is what you gave. Good luck with your writing!
 

Submitted by Denzella on
Old Pesky Thank you for your help yesterday. I'm not sure this is where I should be putting this thank you but once again I don't know what I'm doing on this site yet so apologies all round. I just didn't want to leave it any longer before putting out a thank you as I really appreciated your help and I didn't want you to think I was just ignoring you.
 

Submitted by Denzella on
Old Pesky Thank you for your help yesterday. I'm not sure this is where I should be putting this thank you but once again I don't know what I'm doing on this site yet so apologies all round. I just didn't want to leave it any longer before putting out a thank you as I really appreciated your help and I didn't want you to think I was just ignoring you.
 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
You certainly made me smile, Denzella;-) Much enjoyed. Tina;-)

 

Submitted by Denzella on
Hi Tina, I'm glad the poem made you smile. There is too much sadness in the world and I count it a privilege if I can make someone smile. Thank you for taking the trouble to read it. Moya
 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Denzella Hello! I can't give constructive comment. Just read and it flows from my mind ok. I had a good laugh at this,glad it was only humour. Enjoyed this a deserted women. Getting her own back,is that right! So right about gloom! every where,papers all about how christmas turn out! We all know. Ups and downs don't we. Laughter! is good medicine. Hope comment is ok! Does take a little while,to find it all on here at first. Then straight foreward after. cavalcaderl julie

Submitted by Denzella on
Cavalcaderl, thank you for taking the time and trouble to read my poem. It is such a novelty to me that people are prepared to give their time to read and then comment on what they have read so I really do appreciate any comment that a person feels able to make. Yes, I think I am beginning to find my way round the site and so far I really enjoy looking at other peoples work and feel there is a lot I can learn from reading their submissions. MOya
 

Submitted by Geoffrey on
I like all your work but this one reminds me of a limerick what I learned years ago:- There was a young man from Japan Whose limericks never would scan When asked why this was He replied its because I always try to put as many words into the last line as I ever possibly can.

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello Geoffrey, Thank you for taking the trouble to read and then comment on my piece. I really appreciate any feedback as I am always very unsure of the worth of anything I write. That limerick certainly seems to have been written with me in mind. I'm working on it though by reading more poems with shorter line lengths. It seems to help somehow. Good luck with your writing and I will take a look at yours as I don't think I've read any so far.
 

Submitted by Geoffrey on
That's what this place is all about. I think my replies to yours are in reverse order to the dates posted. Never mind you'll get the general sense of it all! Just wait until you get your first cherry, it makes it all seem worthwhile!

Submitted by Geoffrey on
Sorry just checked. Wait until you get your second cherry , then the third and... best of luck

Submitted by mycall on
Should I be laughing? Your misfortune is serious but the way you tell the story makes me smile. I say good for you that the 'breeding ground for germs' has left...One thing is for sure that the situation has inspired a clever piece of humorous writing. Mike

Mike

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello mycall, Laugh as much as you like. I was never married to "a breeding ground for germs" It is entirely a work of fiction based on a story I wrote. My husband is the love of my life! Thanks for the read Moya
 

Submitted by mycall on
That's good to hear Moya. Even more interesting that its fictional...is the story posted here? Mike

Mike

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello Mike, Not yet. Moya
 

Submitted by Sooz006 on
Hiya Moya, I'm going from bottom to top. Negative first. I did stumble on this in a couple of places. It could read more fluidly on out loud reading. But funny, heartfelt and oh so familiar. I'm sure many of us, women and men, too can identify with this. Well done. I look forward to reading my way up your list.

 

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello Sooz, Thank you for reading and taking the trouble to comment. As I think you already know I don't think of myself as much of a poet. I am not in the least way musical so I don't think I have an ear for rhythm or metre because I can never tell what metre a poem is written in. Iambic pentameters I can usually get but everything else is a no, no! But I struggle on in the hope that I will improve. I posted a poem today that I was really pleased with but the silence has been deafening so I guess it's back to the drawing board! Thanks once again Moya
 

Submitted by Sooz006 on
I'll do a couple of bottom to tops and then have a shuftie at your new one. Pssst, what's an Iambic Pentameter?

 

Submitted by Geoffrey on
Hi Sooz I'm sure we've both left school, so does anyone care what an iambic pentameter is? least of all Denzella! Please note question and exclamation marks in the correct order.