Good King Wenceslas looked out (IP)

Good King Wenceslas looked out
At the peasants peeing
On his yule log burning bright
One cold Christmas evening
“Damn you, peasants! Stop it now!
You’ve had too much liquor
Stop now or I’ll call the cops!
Have you seen the vicar?”

“Yes, I’m here,” the vicar said
“Leading the procession
Making merry with the crowd
Dealing with depression
See, you’ve taxed them all to death
They’ve no pot to pee in
So they use your yule time log
Just to hurt your feelings!”

Good King Wenceslas looked grim
Seeing all his people
Peeing thus upon his log
Stinking to the steeple
“Pots for all!” the king decreed
“Go home all you creatures!
But a word before you go
Please pull up your breeches!”