Long Distance
By alexwritings
Wed, 22 Feb 2012
- 2563 reads
8 comments
The bay window evenings
eying cold hills through world-muting glass,
love ordered numbers
I dial shakily:
0141
[her city, its termini
and gum-freckled pavements]
625
[her suburb, its braided din
of kids and sparrows]
3014
[her house;
her hair-graced ear].
A misdial early would
send me miles –
to unseen cities whose
greyscale skies
and rag-and-bone men bells
reverberate unnoticed;
a misdial later,
a different neighbour,
the petrol garage at the
end of her road...
the curtain twitcher
by the kindergarten. Yet it's
the final number
which invariably slows
the braving finger –
suspending it above
the deal-sealing digit
like paused footage
of a firing bullet
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Comments
Great device galeforce 7.
Great device galeforce 7. Really well concieved and wonderfully executed. Slow zoom draws one in.
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Yes I agree with scratch,
Yes I agree with scratch, the last image is wonderful and reminds me of
'the skin's bend at the bullet's
nudge the moment before impact'
from Paul adrian's winning poem in the NPC last year. Really enjoyed. :-)
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Oh, who hasn't felt that
Permalink Submitted by twoflowers on
Oh, who hasn't felt that way! Wonderful!
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Really enjoyed. Immediately
Permalink Submitted by gerardineanne on
Really enjoyed.
Immediately identified with the caller.
And that last deal- sealing digit.
Brilliant.
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As Shoe stated; quality!
Permalink Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
As Shoe stated; quality! Well done.
Chris ;)
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Great poem, galeforce7. A
Permalink Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
Great poem, galeforce7. A kaleidoscope of images and senses really draws the reader inside themselves. Richard LP
Richard L. Provencher
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