Girl on a Train
By Silver Spun Sand
Tue, 12 Jun 2012
- 3041 reads
18 comments
In my reverie...
she was an angel
fallen from grace,
shyly fingering
a golden harp...
head bowed;
an open book
gently resting
on the pale lectern
of her hands.
The glance she stole
at me, like a fluffy
dandelion seed,
floating
on the breeze;
eyelids stuttering
in the draught
of a window,
slightly ajar.
Her face
reflected
in the glass;
those eyes
mascara smudged
with that ‘faraway look’ –
could have been anywhere
but on that train.
A spectre
stained
with shadow shades,
shimmering
through raindrops.
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Comments
Hi Tina, this was such a
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Tina,
this was such a wonderful observation, full of
poetic imagery.
I just loved the idea of what you were seeing.
Simply beautiful.
Jenny.
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More lovely imagery - a gem!
Permalink Submitted by hilary west on
More lovely imagery - a gem!
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Lovely Tina. Agree with all
Permalink Submitted by Parson Thru on
Lovely Tina. Agree with all that has been said. Especially like
Her face
reflected
in the glass;
those eyes
mascara smudged
with that ‘faraway look’ –
could have been anywhere
but on that train.
I know the scene and I know the state of mind. Really nicely written.
Parson Thru
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"the pale lectern of her
"the pale lectern of her hands" are for me the best words.
Brilliant.
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This is AWESOME. IW x
Permalink Submitted by InspiredWriter on
This is AWESOME.
IW x
Noah
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Hi Tina, finally got round
Hi Tina, finally got round to it. I'm always intrigued what's going through your mind when you write something like this, who it might be who has inspired such creativity. A girl on a train... hmm, now I'm drifting. Deft and crystalised... well done, T.
Trev
PS: Congratulations on the cherries, I wish I knew what it was like.
TVR
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"an open book gently
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
"an open book
gently resting
on the pale lectern
of her hands."
- absolutely love this image, Tina. Ah, I love train journeys, they're so brilliant for a bit of brooding ;-) Well done on the cherries!
Magic xxx
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