Constellations

By Beeme

Wed, 02 Jun 2010
  • 3690 reads
15 comments
 

When a person becomes
entangled in your life,
sometimes the effect is
transient; like star
falling from the sky
leaving a trail in the
nightand sometimes all
of the signs are there.

However there are rare
moments when a person
becomes constant. Always
there in the sky and
everyday of your life
is spent turning away
from the one image glowing
in front of you.

There are people who
can cause an eclipse,
blocking your view from
anything and everything
held dear, tilting your
perception of the world
around so far that your
identity is lost within
the blackness of the world-
those are the rarest and
perhaps the most terrifying
people who enter our lives.

There are people who
choose to re-define you,
these I call comets- as
they come crashing into
your world causing utmost
destruction.

There are the people who
shine so brightly that
everything and everybody
afterwards falls
short of your dreams..

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I think it's quite good Beeme. Possibly might work better as a poem? When a person becomes entangled in your life, sometimes the effect is instant; Do you mean instant? Or possibly transitory/transient (something like that anyway, sorry am in a bit of a rush) A word that means it's dramatic, then over, as opposed to just something that happens suddenly. also There are the people who shine so brightly that everything and everybody afterwards fall short of your dreams. should be falls

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
This is certainly thought provoking, Beeme. The imagery works very well and like insert, I agree it would have an even greater impact as a poem. "...there are rare moments when a person becomes constant" I like this concept and also this one:- "There are some...who can cause an eclipse." I know at least one of those;-) Tina xx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you Insert, I changed instant to transient and fall to falls, I hope this works better as a poem as well. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you Tina, I'm glad you enjoyed :) I hope this works better as a poem. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
stunning images!

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much maggy :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Nolan on
"everything and everybody afterwards falls short of your dreams.." That's why you can't afford to lose them at any cost &&
 

Submitted by Beeme on
Very true Nolan :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Beeme Very good the effcts to me of planets,and space We all need.. Comets,and eclipses falling stars,all exploding in our lives magical almost,can come crashing down.As our Editor syas, "Hope In A Small Corner".His story. Like images,and different way of explaining poem. julie xx

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you Julie, I'm very happy you enjoyed :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Curse of 222 on
i didn't see this before it was a poem, but it works very well in its current structure. the concept is very good and you pulled it off well. jason

jason

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much Jason, I'm glad you enjoyed :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Kahdai on
I really like what you write of astronomy beeme :)

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Nolan on
When I heard the learn'd astronomer, When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me, When I was shown the charts and diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them, When I sitting heard the astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room, * How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick, Till rising and gliding out I wander'd off by myself, In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time, Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars. * Walt Whitman. His poem doesn’t really have much bearing on yours Beeme but I thought you might like it! I like yours too.
 

Submitted by well-wisher on
A very original poem full of wonderful imagery and astute observations. Enjoyed this a lot.

Oh look, a link. I wonder where it leads.

JoHn