Being Yourself I.P

"I'm not pretty or stick thin... I'm not trying to be a model. Judge me on my swimming, not my looks"
- Sunday Mirror 19.08.2012

It's always important to be yourself, no matter what the situation. Would you prefer to be liked being yourself? Then liked being someone you’re not.

I always had it hard growing up deaf, I tried to fit into ‘the hearing world’ but I ended up being singled out because I couldn’t hear and no-one knew how to deal with me or how to do sign language. It was an on-going assault course as I called it, ups and downs.

I became friends with a girl called Danielle, Who knew I was deaf but learned how to deal with situation by talking to my mother and asking the simple questions. “Do I need to look at her whilst talking” and It then became obvious how I heard because I responding. But finding a friend who would but the little extra effort in was hard.

I left school in year 8 due to not being able to hear the teachers so I had a home tutor which was 1-2-1 and I could hear but she taught me things I did in primary school, you get this! Just because I’m deaf I haven’t got the brains of a child or extra dumb. No-one really understood.

Then I joined a school called Darrick Wood in Orpington which had a deaf centre in there so I made deaf friends but there hearing was worse, they couldn’t hear at all or speak probably so I learnt to sign better but again I felt lonely and singled out because I couldn’t talk or act myself with them cause they just wouldn’t take any notice, school was a lonely period. But even in the hearing classes the pupils didn’t talk to me even if I spoke they just looked at me like I was an alien.

The deaf teachers were lovely giving me extra support but sometimes I believed they took it too far, Speech and Language therapy classes? I could speak perfectly well and they wanted me to sound out “CAT or DOG” am I five? I couldn’t even do my English GCSE exam because they thought the deaf pupils were slow workers.

Even after all of this, I was being myself and began to get used to being in my own world because I was by myself most of the time. I had a few friends down Dover where I use to live but only because none of them knew I was hard of hearing so they just talk to me like any other and I would struggle to hear them or just reply anything and hoped it was the right answer.

Didn’t think I would ever get the right boyfriend cause I didn’t hear their voice or they didn’t know the real me and I was scared to tell anyone because I didn’t want to be singled out again.
I left school and moved in with a family friend who had a son called Dale, I began to really fancy him as he walked round the house with no top on and he knew I was deaf and he spoke to me a lot and even shared his game machines with me and by this time my hearing was 20% in my right and 0% in my left, we carried on getting to know each other and I even taught his little sister Abbie sign language and she was good at it even the age of 10! Dale became so use to me that he put the subtitles on the television automatically and faced me whilst speaking.

I felt for once special and had someone I could talk to, it was lovely and he helped with all my problems and even made me feel like I wanted to go to school because I had something to look forward to when I came home. Then one day we kissed and it was a tingling feeling which made my heart stop and I wasn’t sure if it felt right or wrong but I knew I was beginning to fall in love with this guy. He treated me like no other and actually put up with all the crazy and unusual things I done.

We decided to put aside our life’s and join each-others and went on holiday and now on this day are married and have a gorgeous little boy called Leo.

The point I’m trying to make, being you will have a good ending. At least I know I’ve suffered for a reason, wouldn’t change any of it because It made what I have today, a loving family.