Shredded

I cannot pace
limbs too lumbered to drag
lids too drooped, too wept out
too wrung out
like threads, like shreds
too lethargic to move
too heavy to lift a digit
lying on my side
curled kidney shaped
like a child, but a woman
poured out in waves
in heaves
wordless lament
in silent howl, gutted
from the pit of my stomach
a knot in my throat
like soured lemon drops
that do not melt

all that was sweet
now unravelled
now ill matched
incoherent, senseless
betrayed
all that was sunny
now black incessant rain
no spring
no new moons
no festivals restored
no flutterings of heart upon heart
or breath upon breath
no touch
no hands
save my own to flop
and flail at the sky