Eloise and the Magic Elixir

I don't know what to make of this. It's part of a series of short pieces I did many years ago. And since I don't seem to be able to conjur up anything new. I thought I'd share the older me. The 90's me.

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What is wrong with Aunt Eloise? Some say it's the elixir she's been buying from Mrs. Muckle, the neighborhood sorceress, who claims it can cure everything from rickets to rheumatism. She also claims it can free anyone from their inhibitions. But there were consequences to consider. And in the case of Aunt Eloise, the consequences were quite unique.

It seems Aunt Eloise had metamorphosed into Cochise, the Apache warrior. No one had known of her secret admiration for the famous Indian leader - not even her husband. So it was quite a shock when her husband came into the kitchen one Sunday morning, expecting the usual pancakes, and instead, stared down a bowl of buffalo testicles.

"Eat!" Eloise said. "Make strong! I smell, in wind, many bad things. We leave camp when moon is high. This camp very bad. Outside teepee, many white devils attack grass with noisy metal ponies. It make Cochise head pound like thunder. We must travel under many suns to find our people . . ."

“Hot flashes are one thing,” said her husband. “But this is bloody fucking ridiculous!”