Rainbow Over Tesco

Cherry

By Bee

Fri, 17 Jan 2014
  • 2238 reads
14 comments
 

From the top of the railway bridge, 
a rainbow over Tesco
framed a promise -
perhaps an end to the prevailing downpour 
and some sunshine - 
overdue.

But the vivid colours faded to a dull
unglow, soon erased as heaven darkened
seething back brief joy,

and all the people left the train downheaded
trooping grey across the car park 
dodging oily puddles and taking
shelter under pulled up coats, or folded
papers for umbrellas. They never saw

the rainbow and didn't feel
the disappointment of a broken promise.
All was as expected

and the sky wept on.

Certificate U
Poem
Other Non-fiction

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

 A lot there, as is usual with your compositions, Bee. And very evocative descriptions.

I was the more interested as in the middle of writing something about the variation in one recent afternoon. I hope it wasn't just the promise of 'every little helps' from Tescos that was framed! But at least the rainbow still  points to 'not another global flood' and the provision we're still getting despite the weather extremes! And at least, as you said, you did notice it, not just keeping your head down with stiff upper lip!
Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Rhiannon. 

I wondered if anyone would pick up on the Tesco (price) Promise. I thought of that when I saw the rainbow - always a reminder of the other promise you mentioned. It was such a beautiful one, too - a complete arc. But then I watched it fade and thought how lovely it was to have seen it even in that drab setting.

thanks for your thoughts,

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Stan.

Thank you for such nice comments. Sometimes I think poems are there instead of cameras when you need them. 'Captured in amber' - I really like that. 

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Excellent poem, Bee, so descriptive and a clever pick up on the Tesco 'promise'. Well done on the cherries: every little helps.

Luigi smiley

 

Submitted by Bee on

You are so right, Luigi - every little does help;) and I do so love cherries. Thank you for your kind and cheerful comments,

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee,

I liked this very much - a ray of hope in our dreary world.  I liked the dull unglow. All your words are chosen to make just the right impact.

 

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, Jean, for your very encouraging words - and for taking the time to read.

Very much appreciated,

Bee

Submitted by hoalarg1 on

Oh yes! Lovely work. What a great way to describe how easy it is to miss the magic during certain times of our lives. The rainbow a metaphor for so many occasions. Well done on the cherries! Adam

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Adam. 

I'm really glad you liked it, and you are right - easy to miss the magic.

Thanks so much for your kind comments, and for taking the time to read.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you Editor, for the cherries. Very much appreciated.

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Bee - this is enchantingsmiley.

Love your use of the word 'unglow', and the third stanza is wonderfully crafted.  Congratulations on the richly deserved cherries.  

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you so much, Tina. I suppose it's cheating, but I love made-up words.

Have a nice evening,

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Made-up words are something else!!smiley One only has to think of Lewis Carroll's brillig slithey toves, that gyred and gimbled in the wabe.  And your unglow, equally inspired.  Strange, because not until you come to actually attempt one of these little blighters, you don't realise how very difficult it is.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks, Tina. That was my favourite poem as a child. I think it still might be.

Bee