Life on Mars

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Thu, 26 Jun 2014
  • 3760 reads
13 comments
 
“Time I was going,” I quip.
 
That’s when she stabs me 
straight through the heart;
 
a single, glancing blow
from those steel-grey,
‘Please stay’ eyes.
 
Twists a lock of hair
around her finger;
sucks her thumb –
 
sticks out her tongue
just like a child does.
 
Reminds me so much
of my first day at school;
feeling abandoned...unloved...
 
like being marooned
on another planet.
 
I blow a kiss. Feelings
of guilt well up  inside – despite
the fact, I know it’s for
the best, but like she said,
when we were kids – made
to stay behind at school...
detention – again. 
 
 “Got to take what comes.
Life is life, kid.”
 
They take her back inside.
 
‘Bye, Mum,’ I wave. Till 
the same time next week;
God willing...
 
I’m left in freefall...
 
hoping,
for both our sakes, 
there is life on Mars. 
 
Certificate PG
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Love
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Denzella on

Oh God, Tina,

How I remember feeling like that, but  I could never express it so eloquently.  This will resonate with so many people.  .

Moya

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Many thanks to you, Moya...and, sadly, I think you are probably right.

Tina

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Oh God, Tina,

How I remember feeling like that, but  I could never express it so eloquently.  This will resonate with so many people.  .

Moya

 

Submitted by Bee on

Heatbreakingly portrayed, Tina. Moya is right, this will mean something to a lot of people. 

 

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks for reading, Bee, and for sharing your thoughts.

Tina

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Clever, this. At first I was carried along by the act of leaving and the guilt ensued, but there's elements of something else at play and dare I say, a sense of generational tit for tat, yet done without malice. It's painfully deep. Mother strings frighten me.it's lovely, Tina.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks for reading this one so carefully, Vera, and that you got so much from it. Much appreciatedsmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

Simply put but with such a depth of feeling .Very difficult to 'take what comes'

Hope there is life on Mars for you and your mum.

Lindy

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Lindy, your words mean a lot to me.  Thank yousmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by summerlands on

This is one of those things that is so hard to express properly, but so understandable to almost everyone. But you've done an amazing job of it.

I particularly like "steel grey/'Please-stay' eyes". Brilliant.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

summerlands (love the name, by the way) thank you, so much, for sharing your thoughts.  

More than appreciatedsmiley

Hope you have a peaceful evening.

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

A touching piece of writing Tina.

If only we could bottle up moments in time and uncork them at our leasure,   we could once more be with our mums when their health was fine and although not always perfect,  at least we had shared moments of unconditional love.

I took so much from this piece and really hope there's life on Mars too.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Jenny - thanks for your thoughtful, and inspiring words.

Tina