EMPTY
By Bee
- 9805 reads
She frets about the down;
the candy floss and tender quills
outgrown; pecks
a kiss to prints
of spiny toes pressed into grey
mud walls of mindfulness.
No need to linger, but for pride
that binds her heart to absent broods
who upped and fledged
on eager wings, proclaiming joy
in songs she taught - no longer sings.
She preens her faded plumes
for old time's sake and mourns
depleting eggs. Now courting is a token
dance, a waste of breath, she thinks.
Still, she glides high with the best,
even if of late, she lands too plump
and tasteless - lacking grace.
She was born for this:
to brood warm nestlings
at a beating breast.
What's left?
Nothing, but the waiting,
now her home is empty.
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Comments
Excellent poetry, Bee. An apt
Excellent poetry, Bee. An apt metaphor for the empty nest syndrome. That procreation is no longer possible is seen as the end of a useful existence and even though some vitality remains -
“Still, she glides high with the best,
even if of late, she lands too plump
and tasteless - lacking grace.”
- it is regarded as no longer relevant –
“Now courting is a token
dance, a waste of breath, she thinks.”
Luigi x
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Enjoyed the details that
Enjoyed the details that seemed to be so metaphoric. Could she be waiting to enjoy fluttering over her broods' parenthood and their nestlings?! Rhiannon
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Nothing left, very sad. Love
Nothing left, very sad. Love the description of the nest.
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Apologies Bee, I seem to miss
Apologies Bee, I seem to miss some of your work, no idea why, so I'm going to go through them again tonight to catch up.This was brilliant as usual. I am always in awe at the way you put things together in a poem, in ways that I could never do. Great stuff.
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Hi Bee
Hi Bee
I agree with the others. This is wonderfully written and with such believable sentiment. I loved it.
Jean
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Such a great analogy...
... I can link it to elderly women, left in old age homes, far from those they reared... sad, especially at this time of year. A play called "People Are Living There" by Athol Fugard has the existentialist take on this as the protagonist hits 50 and never had children, the analogy used is one with a silkworm and once the butterfly has come from all that effort, it dies... such is life... Thanks for this reminder to always create a meaning in and of oneself and supplementary to the meaning of caring and nurturing others dreams...
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Neat, honest and fearlessly
Neat, honest and fearlessly written.
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excellent control of language
excellent control of language, like the pop of that alliterative 'p' in the opening stanzas.
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good rythm, pace and description
love the frets about down, candy floss, tender quills, absent broods who upped and fledged.
Poignant, honest, lovely.
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Hi Bee,
Hi Bee,
I really enjoyed reading this poem, definitely one to read out to an audience. Beautifully done.
Hope you have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Jenny.
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