EMPTY

Cherry
Poem of the week

By Bee

Mon, 08 Dec 2014
  • 9782 reads
28 comments
 

She frets about the down; 
the candy floss and tender quills
outgrown; pecks

a kiss to prints 
of spiny toes pressed into grey 
mud walls of mindfulness.

No need to linger, but for pride 
that binds her heart to absent broods
who upped and fledged 

on eager wings, proclaiming joy
in songs she taught - no longer sings. 
She preens her faded plumes

for old time's sake and mourns 
depleting eggs. Now courting is a token
dance, a waste of breath, she thinks.

Still, she glides high with the best, 
even if of late, she lands too plump
and tasteless - lacking grace. 

She was born for this:
to brood warm nestlings
at a beating breast.

What's left? 
Nothing, but the waiting,
now her home is empty.

Certificate 12
Poem
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Excellent poetry, Bee. An apt metaphor for the empty nest syndrome. That procreation is no longer possible is seen as the end of a useful existence and even though some vitality remains -

“Still, she glides high with the best, 
even if of late, she lands too plump
and tasteless - lacking grace.”

- it is regarded as no longer relevant –

“Now courting is a token
dance, a waste of breath, she thinks.”

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Bee on

Luigi, thank you so much for taking the time to think about this. It means a lot.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Enjoyed the details that seemed to be so metaphoric. Could she be waiting to enjoy fluttering over her broods' parenthood and their nestlings?! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, Rhiannon. Let's hope so.

Bee

Submitted by scratch on

Really very good Bee.  Well done indeed.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks scratch - you've made me feel happy.

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Nothing left, very sad.  Love the description of the nest.

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Philip. Glad you enjoyed the nest description. 

Bee

Submitted by jolono on

Apologies Bee, I seem to miss some of your work, no idea why, so I'm going to go through them again tonight to catch up.This was brilliant as usual. I am always in awe at the way you put things together in a poem, in ways that I could never do. Great stuff.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks jolono. I love your writing.

Bee

Submitted by scratch on

This really is very good.  Sorry to go on.

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Don't apologise - it's made me think you read it twice, and if someone takes the time to do that, it's a great complement. Thank you.

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

I agree with the others. This is wonderfully written and with such believable sentiment. I loved it.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you Jean. I'm thrilled you liked it so much. 

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Dear editor, thank you for the cherries. They really do cheer up a grey day. 

Bee

Submitted by Shannan on

... I can link it to elderly women, left in old age homes, far from those they reared... sad, especially at this time of year. A play called "People Are Living There" by Athol Fugard has the existentialist take on this as the protagonist hits 50 and never had children, the analogy used is one with a silkworm and once the butterfly has come from all that effort, it dies... such is life... Thanks for this reminder to always create a meaning in and of oneself and supplementary to the meaning of caring and nurturing others dreams... 

 

Submitted by Bee on

So pleased it stirred your imagination, Shannan. Thank you for your thoughtful comments. 

Bee

Submitted by blighters rock on

Neat, honest and fearlessly written.   

 

Submitted by Bee on

As is your comment, which is greatly appreciated.

Thanks BR.

Bee

Submitted by chant on

excellent control of language, like the pop of that alliterative 'p' in the opening stanzas.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks so much, chant. Glad you liked. 

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

When I saw the little green book, I was really surprised - and thrilled. Thank you.

Bee

Submitted by MJG on

love the frets about down, candy floss, tender quills, absent broods who upped and fledged.

 

Poignant, honest, lovely.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks MJG. 

Bee

Submitted by celticman on

Lovely. 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks CM.

Bee

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Bee,

I really enjoyed reading this poem, definitely one to read out to an audience. Beautifully done.

Hope you have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Sorry Jenny, I missed your comment before. Thank you. Hope you had a nice Xmas. 

Bee