The Ladies Of Ephesus

 

 

    'I can't quite imagine going back to Solihull now, can you?' said Rita as she reclined on her new throne. 

    'Well I can't quite imagine carrying on like this forever,' said Vera, sat on a much more ordinary chair at her side. 'Besides, the bus will be here soon and we'll have to go.'

    'There's no way that bus is getting down the hill into the village, even with Mehmet driving! The streets are packed, people are coming from miles a round to have a look at me. Wait till I tell our Michael.'   

    'Ooh, thanks love,' she said as another gift was laid at her feet. 

    The two ladies had come to the village earlier that day as part of a coach tour of historical sites. They had been underwhelmed at the site of the Temple Of Artemis and asked their guide Mehmet if they could sit out the next ruin and spend the day in this lovely old village instead. 

    'It might've been a wonder of the world once-upon-a-time but it's nowt much to look at now', said Rita as they looked at the single column standing in a field in front of them. 

    'And it's wonky,' said Vera. 

    Mehmet spoke to the cafe owner who pledged to look after the ladies until the coach returned to pick them up later in the afternoon. 

    'Ali will look after you,' he explained. 'Have a relaxing afternoon. I will collect you on our way back to the hotel.'

    Ali's cafe, or Artemis Café as it was known according to the sign outside was in the square and had tables outside sheltered by vines and bougainvillea. They shared a plate of chips and drank a glass of local wine each as members of Ali's family took turns to drop by to entertain them. 

    'This is my uncle Emir. He sells postcards to the visitors. Did you see him when your coach arrived?' Uncle Emir bowed before them and let his picture postcards concertina out in front of him. 

    'One Euro,' he said. 'Cheap as chips,' he added with a smile as he straightened up. 

    A handsome young man crossed the square from where he had been arranging fruit and  vegetables in a display in front of his shop. 

    'And this is my son Ahmed. His wife's expecting our first grandchild any day now.'

    Ahmed took the ladies by the hand one at a time and kissed them whilst gazing deep into their eyes. 

    'Pleased to meet you Ahmed,' they said curtsying and feeling a little flattered. Rita said, 'I wish I were twenty years younger.'

    'And the rest,' said Vera. 

    At that moment a young girl rushed into the cafe. She was shouting something that the ladies couldn't understand and was tugging at Ahmed's hand. They ran out of the cafe and up an alleyway opposite. Ali ran after them.

    'What was all that about?' said Vera.

    Uncle Emir appeared beside them and gestured with his hands to indicate a round belly. 'Baby', he said, looking pleased with himself. 

    'Take me to them, I'm a midwife,' Rita said to him. 'I can help.'

    Uncle Emir just grinned, not understanding. 

    Rita took his hand and pulled him over to the alleyway where the others had ran off saying, 'Come on, come on. Baby, baby.'

    The young mother-to-be was in difficulty and becoming very distressed. She explained to Ali that she was a midwife and asked if she could help with the birth. Soon the others were busy fetching and carrying while Rita concentrated her efforts on calming the young woman and making her more comfortable. 

    Less than an hour later Rita placed a lovely baby girl at the new mother’s breast.

    At that same moment, and from nowhere it seemed, a baby roe deer skittered across the floor. Rita grabbed hold of it to keep it away from mother and baby and carried it out into the street where a group of villagers had gathered.

    Upon seeing her emerge with a blood covered fawn in her arms they sank to their knees. 

    For hundreds of generations tales of the huntress who comes to assist young women in child birth had been told in this village. The goddess, symbolised by the deer, was a powerful deity and worshipped as such. A temple had been built in her honour, one of the Wonders of the Ancient World, only a few metres from this spot. Her father was Zeus and her twin Apollo. It was said that she was the first born twin and helped to bring her brother into the world. 

    And now she had returned. Or so it seemed. 

    'I could do with a cup of tea,' she said to no one in particular and stepped over the prone bodies to head back to the cafe. 

    Rita set the fawn down in the square and went through to the toilets at the back of the cafe to wash herself. 

    'What happened, chick?' asked Vera as she emerged just a couple of minutes later. The square was filling up with villagers as news had spread that the goddess had returned. 

    'Oh, they're just happy because a beautiful little girl has come into the world.' She looked around her and smiled to the gathering crowd. She thought that it was a bit odd that every time she looked at somebody they looked away and that more and more were falling to their knees. 

    'Ahhh, that's lovely. Is everybody OK?'

    Rita nodded. 'I don't know when Ali's coming back. I'm dying for a cup of tea.'

    'ÇAY! ÇAY!' The cry went, all over the square. 

    Within seconds a young girl was pushed to the front carrying an ornate circular tray. On it were two dainty saucers holding tulip shaped glasses full of tea, with lumps of sugar and little silver spoons. 

    'Ta very much,' she said. An intricately carved eight sided table with jewels inlaid around its edge had been brought in and a brightly coloured circular silk embroidery was placed on it before the girl set the tray down. 

    'They're ever so grateful aren't they?' said Vera as all the other chairs and tables were taken away. The baby deer trotted up and sat down beside her. 

    More girls started to appear, some carrying flowers, other with fruits, silks, bows and arrows, carvings of deers and hunting dogs. Others brought bowls of spices. 

    'I think Ali's family are quite important people in this village,' said Rita. 'We'll never get this lot into our suitcases, mind.'

    When Ali returned Artemis Café was filled with gifts. Garlands hung all around and bowls of aromatic oils burned in an arc around it’s entrance. A number of men were struggling to bring a very large chair in. 

    'My Lady,' he said to Rita, being careful to avoid her eyes. 'Please accept this gift, the Sultan's Throne. It has been in our village for seven centuries. It is ordained that you should now receive it.'

    'Thank you, it's very lovely. But they'll never let us on the plane with it, let alone everything else. 

    'As you wish,' he said retreating, almost prone.

    As the evening grew dark beautiful silks were hung around the porch providing the ladies with a bit of privacy. Delicacies were laid before them and the cafe's interior was cleared to make room for couches, cushions and yet more silks. The ladies and the little fawn had their every need attended to. Outside on the square there was much celebration with dancing and music. The air was filled with the scents of roasting meats. 

    A figure approached them, head swathed in a scarf and bowed in respect. He laid a ceremonial hunting knife at Rita's feet. 

    Rita bent over to take a closer look. 'Its just like that knife I bought for our Michael at that bazaar yesterday.'

    As she spoke the hunched figure looked up to her and put his finger up to his lips. 'Shhhh,' he said, and winked. 

    'Its Mehmet!' she said in a voice halfway between a whisper and a shout. 'Vera, look, it's Mehmet, he's come to get us!'

    Again, he shushed them and said in a low voice, 'They won't want you to leave this place. The people believe that you are Artemis returned. The goddess has never been forgotten in this village and they have waited for a very long time for her to walk amongst them again.’

    'Well that explains a lot, hey Vera? I thought that this was a bit over the top just for helping with the babbee.'

    ‘Come to the cafe toilet and I will help you to escape.' He covered his face and backed out of the porch. 

    'How can they be so daft?' said Vera. 'I mean, you, of all people!'

    'Oi, you! Cheeky get. And why not?' She thought for a moment and said, 'You know, I could really get used to this, though. Never wanting for anything, being loved and respected by everybody. No washing or ironing to do. No going round Asda every Friday. No bills to worry about.'

    'And no Bingo. No Strictly. And what about Michael and the kids?'

    'Oh they'd manage. I'm not sure they even know I'm there most of the time.'

    'OK then,' said Vera. ‘What about the TEA?'

 

    Rita carried the fawn into the cafe toilet. Vera followed her. There was a wooden grille over the window above the basin which was removed revealing Mehmet's smiling face. 

    'Ladies,' he began. 

    'Hey you, turn round. I'm not going anywhere before I've had a wee,' said Rita.

    'Same here. I'm busting,' said Vera. 

 

    Mehmet helped them through the narrow window and gave them clothes to put on; long baggy dresses and head scarves. 

    Replacing the grille he said, 'Keep your heads covered and walk behind me. You will look like villagers. And whatever you do, don’t talk.'

    'Can I bring the deer with me?' said Rita. 

    'No, leave it behind. They will take it as being a gift from their Goddess.'

    'Ahhh, poor thing. I hope that they don't wait too long,' said Rita, as they followed Mehmet up a rocky path to where he had left the bus. 

 

    Two weeks later the ladies were talking over the phone in their respective living rooms, husbands asleep in front of Match Of The Day and snoring loudly. 

    'Did you tell your Michael about what happened to us that day?' 

    'Well, I did say something but I don't think he was listening. Might as well talk to myself most of the time.'

    'It seems like a dream now, doesn't it?'

    'Have you ever thought of going back?'

 

    Twice at the airport the Ladies Of Ephesus had to empty their luggage out. Each suitcase contained twenty kilos of English tea and the bemused security staff allowed it onto the aeroplane after much discussion, form filling and head scratching.    

    ‘Its a shame that Mehmet won’t be there to meet us at the airport,’ said Vera.

    ‘Yes, it is,’ said Rita. ‘But you can’t have everything, can you?’