What do grown-ups mean by a ‘short’ walk?

By Rhiannonw

Sat, 11 Apr 2015
  • 2648 reads
6 comments
 

Kick a ball and climb a tree –
a walk with lovely views to see.
Daddy says, ‘We’ll circle down
– we’ve time a-plenty’,
little boys frown
[‘If Daddy says it’ll take about twenty,
that means it’s probably twice that far
– say forty mins. to reach our car.’]

‘It was fun looking down at the wriggley Wye
from the top of the drop – we were way up high,
and thanks for carrying our ball in your pack
when we came to the slog of the steep track back!’

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Children's
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Great writing, Rhiannon, for all the reasons Bear so eloquently mentions.

I remember...back in the seventies now, we had just moved to Germany...hubby and me and two kids.  We hired a yellow Volkswagen and drove to Switzerland, one Saturday, and stayed there for the weekend, in a small inn, called 'The Bear", in Grindlewald, which is in the vicinity of the Eiger.  On the Sunday afternoon Dad suggested we all go for a 'short' walk.  The children were 3 and 5.  It was a signposted  2 hour walk, supposedly.  It took us up a mountain side, and four hours later we were still climbing.  We saw some wonderful waterfalls, I remember.  I also remember the walk down, with the little'un on Dad's back.  Boy did we sleep that night.  Those were the days, thoughsmiley

Sorry I rambled on, but your poem is more than inspiring.

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Tina. I'm glad it's triggering interesting and happy memories, Tina. The children do appreciate the adventures, but like to remind us of past occasions I think! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Geoff Smith on

This is really cool! The full rhymes give it a real feel-good quality, and the clever structuring means the rhymes are just subtle enough to keep the reader on permanent tenterhooks.

I love the square brackets for the monologue and the reflective final stanza. I love it.

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Oh, thank you, Geoff, really nice to know it 'worked' for you, and if it's 'cool' it should strike right with kids too! Pleased you enjoyed it and thanks for telling me. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

I like the way you write this from a child's point of view. It's a lovely little poem.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks so much, Jean. Glad you enjoyed. Rhiannon