Leaf

Gold cherry

By Ed Crane

Fri, 01 May 2015
  • 11515 reads
19 comments
 

Blackness hides them in twisted

sinews, below our feet and in

frozen wood above our heads

compressed into pinheads of

 

promise, fulfilled at the pace

of snails to the impatient: at

breakneck speed to pre-occupied

minds, until temperature unlocks

 

their cell doors with keys of light

releasing silk smooth expansion

to sooth and surprise our eyes with

an explosion of psychedelic greens.

Certificate U
Poem
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

This is a lovely and clever vignette. Biography of the buds. I particularly enjoyed the picturing of the leaves' expansion, and that specially lovely first freshness of the greens. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I'm very pleased you enjoyed this. I've had this in my mind for a few days and today I finally got it how I wanted it.

Ed

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

LIked this, Ed...a lot...especially the idea of unlocking cell doors with keys of light.  

Tina

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

Thank you very much, Tina.

Ed

 

Submitted by Bee on

Such a perfect flow to this, Ed. To take a tiny detail and examine it from all aspects and see it in all colours to create a gem of art like this takes a talent for seeing deceptive simplicity. Every detail is developed so smoothly, till the end when everything erupts into full colour, almost like a shock. Not sure about the last verse, though - only because I think there might be too many s sounds. And in the second Line of that verse, I wondered if instead if 'releasing', it might work better - that release. That's just my feeling , and I don't really want to tread my clod hoppers on such a delicate and wonderfully neat poem. I loved it.

Bee

Submitted by Ed Crane on

Thanks for your comments and suggestions. I will stick with released, you know I'm not keen in the 'that' word, but I think you have a point about a little too much alliteration. I will think it over, maybe replace sooth with please?

Cheers

Ed xx

 

Submitted by Bee on

I know what you mean - I'm not keen on the 'that' word, either. But then again, I try as far as possible to avoid 'ing' words. Ignore me - I'm all over the place right now. 

Not too much alliteration - just Ss.

Bee x

Bee

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Gorgeous smooth sounds throughout. How did you choose where to end the lines? I can never decide where to myself.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I usually have the same trouble and I did intend to add another line, but I stood back and looked at it and thought, I think it's good to stop it there.

Thanks again

Ed

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

 

 

Submitted by scratch on

This is a beaut Ed.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

Thanks very much Scratch.

 

Submitted by hilary west on

Very economically expressed. Liked this one!

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Full of energy, life wanting to burst out, wonderful poem.

Submitted by Ed Crane on

 

 

Submitted by scratch on

This is our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day!

Get a fantastic reading recommendation every day.

 

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I certainly wasn't expecting that one!

 

Submitted by Bee on

Congrats, Ed. Well deserved pick. Pleased to read this again.

Bee