Chinook (Poetry Monthly)

Cherry
Poem of the week

By Philip Sidney

Wed, 08 Jul 2015
  • 11521 reads
22 comments
 

In the quiet stillness at the end of the school day

real life creeps in, a merest echo in cool corridors

the shadow of a signature across a dusty window

through which summer green and cloud and blue

stretch toward future, into dream - beyond reach

the transparent barrier marks where participation

and observation begins, a trilling song of life is on

the other side of the glass, a deep hum and throb

announces a chinook’s steady moth-like progress

weighty, awkward, incongruous in the midland sky

we read Futility today, felt the sun warm our arms

as we witnessed a faraway and long ago death that

served no purpose, thought of our own, closed the

book and shook ourselves into the present and we

were glad, now the solemn sound of war and pain

and death hangs above, will not hurry, I must look

can only hope some boy feels the sun on his face.

Certificate 12
Poem

Comments

Submitted by VeraClark on

This is stunning.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much! :)

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

So much touched on, from the window shown to be where participation and observation begins, to the lumbering description of the helicoper and the touching on the agonies of wars. Yet concise and followable.

served no purpose, thought of our own Does that mean that to us the consequences or 'what might have been's are unknown?  true of so many deaths at whatever age, and other incidents of this life.

Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you for your close reading and considerations!  :)

Submitted by london_calling79 on

There are two very personal, stand out images in this poem - the chinook (I remember the thrum from tonnes of them constantly flying around in my childhood) and teaching that wonderful poem 'Futility'. The warming sun is such a lasting image and you've managed to use it for your own devices here. Really enjoyed this.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks LC, I'm so pleased that elements of this poen chime with you. 'Futility' is one of those poems that stays with you, I'm sure WO won't mind I borrowed the sun from him. :)

Submitted by jeand on

HI Helen

Beautiful poem - with lasting images.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Jean. :)

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

There can be no greater contrast than the image offered by the helicopter, as a war machine, and Wilfred Owen's poem describing the consequences and futility of armed conflicts.
A skilfully crafted poem, Helen. Congratulations.

Luigi

 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Luigi. :)

Submitted by scratch on

I'm with the others, especially Vera on this one.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Aww, thanks scratch. :)

Submitted by scratch on

This is our joint poem of the week!  Well done.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you for the pick! smiley

Submitted by celticman on

the kind old sun will know and indeed it is so. Futility and war to end all war. None the wiser, however high we climb, poems like this take us to a different time, strangely present in the past, that moment that has just past. 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you celticman. :)

Submitted by Canonette on

Wonderful.  Has a fly trapped in amber feel - the stillness of a capturred moment.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you canonette.  That's an equally beautiful and gruesome image, what I was going for. smiley

Submitted by blackjack-davey on

I love the echo from Futility the sun-warmed arms in the classroom and the sun that fails to wake the dead boy in France. Setting it in school gives added weight and poignancy to the cold clays being dragged and shaped and educated and pulled from the earth and then obliterated... how many of these midlands children will end up serving in some awful war?

The chinook and the whole poem acts as a throb, a tap at the window, a throb of feeling and disaster as this cumbersome clumsy crawling moth brings the conflict right into our daydreams.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks for your sensitive reading BJD.

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

this is really effective, not really able to comment on technical aspects but I felt like it rolled along really well, had a transportive pull in the writing and structure, carries you through striking images and makes you confront things within that pull. great poem :-)

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Stephen.