running in the rain

Cherry
Poem of the week
Pick of the Month

By Deliberately Evolving

Mon, 24 Aug 2015
  • 10689 reads
27 comments
 
There is something compelling 
and slightly unsettling the way
the rain strikes my face 
hits my cheeks and my lips.
Droplets drum a delightful pattern
of beguiling mellifluent rhythm. 
Hypnotic and mesmerising,
saturating and wetting 
my body, breathing heavy 
as I sprint and dash through
wet mud and damp grass,
splattering hot thighs and calves, 
soaking my toes through my 
shoes, wet t-shirt clinging to 
steaming chest and belly.
The clouds moving and dancing,
entrancing and wooing 
me to stay all day, all week,
all year - run forever and never
return, never yearn or go back
to the reality and sensibility,
forget verity or actuality.
Become the rain and ascend 
like mist to the heavens.
Dazzle and Sparkle;
forever be part of the cycle.
Enrich the earth, nourish ground,
return to the sky, start again,
remain with the rain,
I've been won.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Surreal

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Using up physical energy outdoors in the rain, can be so relaxing and escaping. mellifluent is a lovely sounding word! Rhiannnon

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks Rhiannon. I really liked that word too. Its a very pleasant word to say and the meaning is very captivating too.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Bee on

This is fabulous, AE.especially liked how it runs together at the end, and the statement that you've been won by it. It's brilliant and you got that exhilarated feeling of escape just right. Now where are my running shoes?

Bee

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I'm really glad you liked it Bee. That means a lot to me coming from you. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thank you for the cherries admin. smiley

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Such a sense of the moment, I feel like I have experienced it, love how it builds.

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

There's nothing like running in the rain - particularly through a forest. Glad you liked the poem.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by loquaciousicity on

Rain is predicted for tonight...

If it does, I'm getting out my running shoes...

Great poem!!!

Submitted by love_writing on

Nice alliteration in; 'Droplets drum a delightful pattern'. The fast pace suits the theme of running and I like how it gathers pace to which seems to me like the release of endorphins! Makes me want to run :) 

love_writing

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I'm really glad you liked it LW and Terry. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Deliciously delightfully, Ae...more than deserving of its accolades.

Tina

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks Tina - that's really kind.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks so much for poem of the week admin! What an honour! You really don't know how much that made my day today. laugh

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by scratch on

Fantastic piece.  

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thank you scratch.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by scratch on

This is our poem of the month for August.  Well done and well deserved.

yes

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I don't know if I'm just emotional today (times have been a bit black recently) but I actually cried when I read this. 

Writing has been one of the things keeping me going. I don't profess to be a pro but I don't half get a kick out of it and boy is it nice when others get a kick out of your writing too.

 

Thanks so much editors.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by celticman on

perfect pick up for a washed out summer that's been a bit of a bummer. 

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Exactly - go with the wet and enjoy the rain. No reason to stay indoors complaining about it. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by earthygirl on

I really like your poem. It has a cadence similar to a "running" pace and the adjectives used to describe the rain seem simple (not over done) and clearly place you in the runner's shoes. Nicely done!

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks earthgirl. I wanted it to feel like running to read it. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by lavadis on

Absolutely lovely

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

hey! this is wonderful work. you certainly achieved a feeling of momentum in it, pacing along on the rolling commas and 'y' sounds. i liked the way the commas increased at the end, framing 2/3/4 word bursts, as if in a sprint finish, whilst the words themselves built to an inspiring and beautiful peak. Loved the capitalisation of 'Dazzle and Sparkle' followed by 'forever be part of the cycle.'

also the very best expression to reclaim yourself from rubbish times. yes amazing stuff.

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thanks so much for your kind comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and the rhythm. I performed it for the first time (first time I have ever read my poems out loud) last week and there is an enjoyable pace to it that feels like running. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on

This is an insanely well-written poem, the line "Hypnotic and mesmerising' sums up how I feel about this piece. It reads like a dance, and it definitely makes me want to go walk around in the rain. 

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thank you so much. What a kind comment. I'm glad you found it inspiring.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by MarciaMarcia on

Wow !!! I've been won.

I felt the rain I ran the run I knew the lift and wanted more

thank you for bringing me into it all