Stockholm archipelago

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Pat G

Mon, 07 Sep 2015
  • 4354 reads
19 comments
 

I nearly forgot something, but 

it was there at the jetty when 

a blonde girl said goodbye

to her father. And the passengers 

looked on as he walked back, 

slowly, up the island track

into the folding pines.

 

Wash from the propellers slashed 

the rocks and the ferry scurried on. 

It disturbed distant ducks 

blotting refracted skies.

 

I remembered again in the pale eyes 

searching the brown sea,

where engines gurgled in my eardrums

and pounded the lateral-lines 

of delicate fish.

 

My other life lurks in the thousands of 

inbetweens; the synapses 

between islands, forests 

and wooden houses. 

 

There, fathers say goodbyes

and distressed fish

flip on to rocks. Boats float

and velvet ducks are pushed outwards,

killing the skimming light.

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by VeraClark on

Beautifully done. Could read a book of your poetry. It's such a lightly handled piece for the displacement and loss inside. 

 

Submitted by Pat G on

I feel very flattered by you comments Vera. Thank you so much. 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

This is wonderful, the moment preserved, the words giving me the experience.  I feel the loss of the moment I never had, pretty special.

Submitted by Pat G on

So pleased to receive your comments Sir Philip. Thank you.smiley

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

love this word picture!

 

Submitted by Pat G on

Wow. Thank you!

Submitted by love_writing on

Every word a delight, some really nice alliteration...love your poetry, its always so unique and thought provoking. My other life lurks in the thousands of inbetweens creates a sense of a deep longing for something else.. 

love_writing

Submitted by Pat G on

Ah. Thank you. I really appreciate the comments.

Submitted by Pat G on

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

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Submitted by Pat G on

I feel very honoured. You have so much good writing to choose from. Thank you.

Submitted by EB on

Excellent. I especially liked this - 

'My other life lurks in the thousands of 

inbetweens; the synapses 

between islands, forests 

and wooden houses. '

Submitted by Pat G on

Thank you so much reading the piece.

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

beautifully crafted, wonderful, delicate control of language and use of sound and movement. the 'my other life' stanza is stellar but littered with lovely touches throughout  'i nearly forgot something'/'folding pines/'. cracking work, really found this brilliant yes

 

Submitted by Pat G on

I really appreciate the comments, and the thumbs up. Thank you.

Submitted by celticman on

my other life lurks I like that. I like the looking back and the reflection of things past that aren't really past. 

 

Submitted by Pat G on

Thanks so much for the thoughtful comments.

Submitted by london_calling79 on

This is just gorgeous. It's so clean - can't describe it any other way.

 

Submitted by Pat G on

Those are lovely comments. Thank you.