And then us

Gold cherry

By alexwritings

Tue, 18 Aug 2015
  • 2186 reads
8 comments
 

And then us,
under a wide, purpling sky
gently linted
with soft, yellow clouds. And
then the birdsong
in the key of evening
curtly tuning
the calcified stone. And
then the neighbour,
his bike lock jangling,
in the courtyard below. And
then the mind’s
 
odd, engraving darkness,
…the salted slug…
 
But then you,
your skin becoming light:
the sun-caught dust around you
golden, stellar and unspeakably bright.

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Comments

Submitted by alexwritings on

 

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

v lovely, liked the repetitions of 'and then'- changing finally to 'but then'- and 'the key of evening/curtly tuning/the calcified stone.' is a beautiful moment. wonderful level of feeling. :-)

 

Submitted by alexwritings on

Thanks Stephen!

 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

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Submitted by Bee on

I read this in the night and absolutely loved it. Still do. So thrilled to see gold cherries!

Bee

Submitted by love_writing on

This is beautiful, every word counts...that middle stanza seems to alter the tone of the poem and then the final one lifts it - a delight to read! Well done on pick of the day 

love_writing

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Beautiful. Written like an hour glass - the wide, impending sky distils down to the bike lock and then the whole damn thing opens up the spectrum.

 

Submitted by alexwritings on