Submerged

Gold cherry
Poem of the week
Pick of the Month

By fatboy74

Thu, 03 Aug 2017
  • 11292 reads
26 comments
 

 

 

Off the bow the float blinks

and we dare not smile.

Not stirred by wind 

or current spat from boulders 

on some distant peak,

this water set, ruffled only 

in the wake of speeding boats,

or shifted by a broken gate,

slow-sucking into lower pounds.

 

I feel the weight and draw it in, 

the neon bob flails, disappears,

fights for air, your stare fixed,

the joy kept tight loosened now,

and in my head a photograph,

magnetised on an old fridge door -

cross-legged, a pile of rough potatoes,

fat forked worms dripping

from your fingers.

 

The slack a tell, the float 

dead in the dead water.

I cannot bring myself to reel it in.

Across the bank a moorhen

calls its young, the wind stirs,

a motorway is heard - nothing lost,

we'll sit some more and wait,

I'll keep it fast, submerged, a blessing,

just beneath the water's grasp.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Certificate U
Poem
A Doughnut Sends A Postcard Home
Love

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This needed a few reads, but it was worth it! Perfect slightly claustrophia-inducing photo too - did you take that?

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Where is this? It sounds/looks like a water channel or canal. The last verse seems to convey the peace and restfulness of such fishing, time out to just sit, and notice the lovely surroundings. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Very mysterious and atmospheric. More satisfying than the telly, I'm sure.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

life and death in the same moment. I can feel the pull of the line and smell the water. Powerful stuff

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Thanks for the cherries pickers. 

My son and I are learning to fish, badly, but we're having fun waiting. The photo is stock from wiki although it fitted snugly. Thanks for reading and commenting Poncey, Rhiannon and PT. 

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Lucky lad. My dad used to drop us off and go for a couple of pints. Win-win. I took it up again in Somerset for a while, but the rivers on the Levels are hard work. Nice rudd, though, and it's a goid excuse just to be there.

Parson Thru

Submitted by fatboy74 on

We live on a boat now and fish off that. I don't know what fish are in the canal we're trying to get out, they seem to like sweetcorn. If we ever catch one I might write another poem. A gold excuse, you're a poet in your comments PT, i'll steal that. 

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Thanks also Philip Sidney for the lovely comment.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

This immersive poem takes us outside, onto the water, where an ancient skill is being practised and hold us there.  It's our facebook and twitter pick of the day - do share if you like it too!

Submitted by ashb on

Like the shapes and sounds in this. 

massive typeface also easy on the eyes.

ashb

Submitted by celticman on

I'm not much of a fisher, but this is an immersive experience. 

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on

...blends, but stark in its own right. The submerged in water and life beneath earth, that creates earth, a draw to the eye and mind. Excellent, enjoyed reading xx

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

A woderful observation, thanks so much Lena. x

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Thank you golden cherry picker, a lovely surprise.

Thanks celtic and ashb for the lovely comments too. The typeface is an accident I can't put right, it's humungous and I'm too ashamed to ask how to sort it out. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Week - congratulations!

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

That's brilliant, many thanks. 

 

Submitted by jeand on

HI

 

I'm not much of a poet, but this is a very good poem. It tells a story and makes a picture andcreats an atmosphere.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by fatboy74 on

 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi there F B, this is a fascinating poem into life on the canal. Just sorry I was so late to reading.

Thank you for sharing.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Always lovely to hear from you Jenny, many thanks.

 

Submitted by YaseminB on

Beautiful and brilliant. loved this.

Yasemin Balandi

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Many thanks Yasemin, I don't write much so it's great when it's enjoyed.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Month - Congratulations!

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Woo hoo thanks poncey. 

 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Parsonthru did the picks so you'll need to redirect your thanks Fatboy! (very well deserved though)

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

I've always liked PT, he's been very kind to the old fatty boy.