time travelling

Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Di_Hard

Sun, 17 Sep 2017
  • 12291 reads
28 comments
 

at woods' edge

shadow-silt nestles

lumps of amber air

floating ballrooms

where midges dance

brief lives away

since before words

 

on one side sun warm

reed beds rough

hedgehog pelt

under an unseen warbler's

silksong rippling

the clearing's still

 

on the other, from soft

bright grass-mass

stiff zigzags jumble

ferns like dinosaur kits

echo older green, and between

 

lichen scaled trees

where a leaf falls

the last thought

before sleep, and emerald

mosses' myriad mound

like the backs of giants

beneath the ground

and pale toadstools grow

cold as prayers

of the woman

who cut the reeds

to sell for thatch

 

 

and was burnt for a witch

in the town beyond

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Certificate U
Poem

Comments

Submitted by airyfairy on

Wonderfully atmospheric, and then drawn all together in those last couple of lines.  Subtle and entrancing.

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

This feels ancient and present at the same time, timeless I suppose.  All those stories, awful and lovely that have happened in those quiet and hidden places - wonderful.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

The lost forgotten places that have withstood the test of time. I love all your descriptions in this poem.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

This beautiful journey through timelessness takes us to a very human destination, and it's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!  Please share/retweet if you've enjoyed it.

Picture credit:  http://tinyurl.com/y72cyzqd

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Have you read the 'Time machine' by HG Wells? And just as prophetic and as beautiful the 'Country of the blind'. They are very short books.

To be honest your poem by itself doesn't make much sense to me. Is it a collection sketches? A description of nature scenes? I found the ending very sudden, a jolt, unfeeling, blunt.

Tom Brown

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou for your kind comment, Airyfairy. It's a beautiful place, often there is no sound there at all except the wind and birds

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou, Philip. When you can't see anything man made except a tumbledown stone wall It is easy to imagine history like a book and you can slip back a few chapters.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Jenny for your lovely comment much appreciated

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

You are quite right Tom, it's just a collection of nature scenes. It's just that I realised that someone from centuries ago could have seen them, too. And while I think of the wood as a beautiful place to go and see the sun and hear the birds. The woman who cut the reeds would have been bitten to pieces by midges. She would have heard birds all day so they would become like her own heartbeat I guess, as present as God if she believed in God, something that was claimed she did not, which is why (partly) she was accused of witchcraft. I sort of feel midges link anyone who has ever walked the land, from stone age till now. I am sorry that the poem did not make this clear. I will change it

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

We watched a movie over the weekend it's a story by Ray Bradbury the story is on time travel. Excellent. I really enjoyed it one always has to deal with the ontradictions and philosophical and logic problems. These are irreconsilable with backwards in time travel and returning to the present. The movie is "Sound of thunder".

There aren't many "truly original" SciFi stories around these days. Bradbury's story was very realistic?! Cheers! Tom

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou for making the cherries and making this POD

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

It's interesting how poems take different people different ways.  I thought it was very clear, but in a very subtle way.  I think you have to stay true to your vision, especially as it has struck a chord with a number of readers.  That's the problem with feedback - it's invaluable but it can be contradictory!

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thanks, Airyfairy. I'm not sure it is clear. I wondered if I should have put something about it being like in church, or something to make a stronger link to the woman at the beginning. I think of her often, it is so easy to become an outcast, a victim. I probably took it for granted that came across.

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

A lovely journey and many, many beautiful images. Most of what I write is probably nonsense to most, but if they like a phrase or a few parts, great - if they get the whole, even better - if they don't like it, or don't have time to decipher my ramblings, no problem at all. I think you told it so well and I for one, find the most reward, when I have to work a little bit harder.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is stunningly beautiful Di - it reads like an impressionist painting - so yes, a bit of work needed, but all the better for it. I've been to a few places like this and I know exactly what you mean. A brilliant pick

 

Submitted by Ewan on

at least two poems on the page: the one the writer wrote and the one the reader understands (or not). Poetry truly is the infinite art, since its meaning is open to infinite interpretations. I know many people who do not enjoy this nebulous characteristic of (a great deal of) poetry, they are not "wrong" about any poem written like this, it's just not for them.

Many people cannot stand the work of the late Harold Pinter. One friend said watching The Birthday Party was like seeing a play written in code, which I suppose it is. It's a question of whether you like puzzles or not.

I loved this poem, by the way, but I can see that it's not for everyone.

Anyway congrats on the picks,

Best

Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Many really thoughtful descriptions. I particularly liked 'emerald mosses' myriad mound like the backs of giants beneath the ground' . Very evocative of those lush lumpy humps in the damp woods!

I sometimes lost the connections, or puctuation flow, but as has been said, that is just me. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Fatboy, thankyou so much for your comment. Your writing has so many layers it must often happen that more is found each reading

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Insert. Will do a longer version with more information

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Ewan. I like that about poetry too. Often I know I'm missing lots when I read something, like skimming the surface, but it's so rewarding to go back and try again

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Rhiannon thankyou so much. Am glad you liked it.

 

Submitted by PoetonaHill on

For me, this poem paints many beautiful poetic pictures. And yet, when I first read it, I had difficulty working out what it was about as a whole. In the same way I'm crap at cryptic crosswords. I suppose it boils down to hores for courses.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Week - Congratulations!

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

WOW Thankyou that's so kind

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

PoetonaHill thankyou. I do like cryptic cross words, also things where there is not one right answer. I don't have the brainpower to write like you do in your brilliant poem Only We Know, with such resonance and strength.

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

Ah 'ferns like dinosaur kits' is GENIUS... so much to appreciate here, 'shadow-silt nestled', rattle of pretty alliteration in 'emerald mosses' myriad mound', little touches like 'bright grass-mass' you can see how much craft and thought has gone in to this. Fav type of poetry where you take words and combinations and turn them into something new and glittering, wonderful work yes

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Stephen, thankyou so much. That is what makes your writing unforgettable, I think

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Superb meshing of concept and execution. I love the insertion, so subtle, of the last thought before sleep.

Parson Thru