Snapshot #Iwokeuplikethis

Gold cherry

By Deliberately Evolving

Sat, 04 Nov 2017
  • 3195 reads
14 comments
 
 
Seeing pictures on instagram
of perfect hipsters with the perfect man,
strolling through streams with perfectly manicured feet,
I'm inspired to snap,
so capture a shot of me sat 
by my washing eating crisps 
while I watch "you are what you eat".
I'm a mess,
I confess,
I haven't got my life in its proper address.
I've got paperwork piling up round my ears,
I try not to look lest I fall into tears.
I could beat it but I must admit,
I'm lazy 
and I'm pretty sure I'm a little bit crazy.
Ask me a question and I'm hazy
because I can't concentrate on more than one thing.
My brains ticks over like a broken bird trying to sing.
I'm sinking.
I've tried in the past to stay afloat,
but I'm pretty sure I've lost my boat.
Probably mislaid somewhere in the hoard,
if I tried to find it I'd get bored,
sit down take it easy,
watch Secret Hoarders on the TV.
I didn’t make a healthy green smoothie
I just ate cookies, watched a movie.
There wasn’t time to capture the kids 
making jars of jam with kitschy lids.
I was too busy hiding in the loo,
scraping the remnants of a runaway poo.
I suppose I could have hashtagged it cleverly,
like “omg - this is real life with kids”!
then followed up with a reel of footage 
of us all bathing together after - bubbles on noses. 
I just cleaned them with a Baby wipe,
pondering on my mess as I swipe.
Flip through Instagram looking at lifestyle pics:
Why do these people look like they’re in the flicks?
Objects in their hand bags laid out pretty;
boutique lipstick, hand made mirror, lace hanky.
I shot mine too, it wasn’t the same -
dirty sock, old receipts and loose change.
I see artful cappuccinos lined up by fancy shoes -
finish my instant coffee, 
in time for a snooze.
Don’t know how they live so pristine,
makes my life look so crap on screen.
I think the problem is - my bloke won’t grow a beard,
However... I Hashtag 
“I woke up like this”. 
Certificate PG
Poem
Philosophy

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

snapshots aren't real, for most 'normal' folk they're an ordeal, but for the Instagram/Facebook chain the click on the kind of life that drives us insane. 

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I know - a click bait of fakery 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by PoppyS on

Just had one of those 'moments' there was a letter on the chair I went to sit on, could have put it on the table but that meant getting up again, so I threw it on the floor; life can be so damn difficult, (for us lesser mortals)
 It must be hard to keep up that 'picture perfect image' imagine wanting to nip to the shops but needing to spend two hours getting ready, where as I would have been, come back and eaten the goodies.

We live in a shallow world.
Made me smile and reflect, I will keep my old worn dressing gown and last years hair cut.

Enjoyed.

Pops ~xx~

Writing is art in pictures – Go paint poetry!

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Watch the video “I am an Instagram husband” on YouTube - so funny. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Definitely a case of the picture not telling the story! I enjoyed this very much Accidentally.

Does that photo need a credit/attribtuion?

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

No - it’s ok. It’s my photo. 

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by airyfairy on

Great stuff, funny and acute.  And accurate.  I have much younger friends whose kids always look sooooo adorable and cute in the frequent early morning pics, making collages or composing an infant sonata before breakfast.  I did wonder if family life has evolved so much that now no-one just shoves Ready Brek at them and and growls until everyone is out of the house with no stains that show. 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

I’m with the latter group I’m afraid. I think maybe most people are. Social Media is so misleading

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by airyfairy on

There's life on Instagram, and then there's the rest of us.  This brilliantly wry poem is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!  Please share/retweet if you've enjoyed it. 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Thank you for pick of the day. Glad you enjoyed the poem x

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Ha ha, funny and so true, you're a bigger person for not getting involved in this pretentious crap! The bit about the beard and the poo made me laugh out loud, the bearded poo....

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Sometimes I post pictures of me with all the dolls and teddies with the caption “omg - so great to have all these friends. I’m so popular!” #blessed.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Shannan on

... indeed social media has created very unnecessary and unhealthy unreal truths - representing but a moment, not a continuous life...

Carry on Mum! 

 

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

There is nothing like social media to make you feel lonely and isolated.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.