Slim Pickings

By luigi_pagano

Mon, 08 Jan 2018
  • 2838 reads
11 comments
 
He saw that his master
was about to carve
a big juicy turkey
and immediately knew
that he wouldn’t starve.
 
He would’ve liked the giblets,
the heart or the liver,
and it was an outrage
they were used as stuffing
with onions and sage.
 
But a cat doesn’t live
by offal alone
and, as it was a big bird,
there’d be plenty of meat
left on the bone.
 
He had to be patient
and a good feline
and he’d be rewarded
if he toed the line
and waited his turn.
 
But what happened next
was a great shock.
After feeding the guests
the carcass was stripped
and used to make stock.
 
The mog didn’t starve
but it was a sin
that all he was fed
was not turkey breast
but cat food from a tin.
 
© Luigi Pagano 2018
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Comments

Submitted by airyfairy on

Made me smile,Luigi.  As the owner of two cats, I am in awe of the owner who actually managed to keep them away from the turkey over the festivities.  Mine took up residence in front of the oven and whinged non stop until provided with supplies, after which they whinged again because they weren't allowed pudding.  They weren't remotely interested in the catnip treats in their stockings!

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Having had a few cats in the past, I am quite familiar with the antics of these creatures, Jane. Our last lamented Toby was very fond of chicken and nothing else would do even though the vet recommended a healtier an more balanced diet. He would turn his nose up at that insipid fare. His pitying looks told me everything I needed to know.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by agnosticnun on

This is great, and all true! My current cat’s weird though, he’d rather have the stuffing.

Kristi

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Lovable animals but quite contrary, Kristi. They can behave in unexpected ways.

Best, Luigi x

 

Submitted by Steve on

It's a real work of art.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Thanks, Steve. Much appreciated.

Cheers, Luigi

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

A black and white cat sitting next to me has just read this and has told me (telepathically) to say "That cat needs to wise up. Doesn't he know about suddenly leaping in front of the cooker just when the human gets the oven gloves on? Has he not perfected his hiding behind a curtain so the humans think he is not in the room then jumping on the table as the plates are put down? Or failing that make coughing noises so they all get up to see if he's ok THEN jumping on the table. For the lazy cat, refuse to eat catfood. This will take a while to work, but no pain, no gain. After two days they'll be buying him his own turkey and BEGGING him to eat it. And if they still refuse to feed the superior life form in the appropriate fashion, start catching mice and letting them go in the kitchen" regards Tina

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

This cat has listened carefully to the advice of your pussy, Tina, and has made the decision that from now on he won't be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. He will insist on his human,- er...feline - rights and demand feeding equality.  A purrfect solution.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

:0)

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Luigi,

Happy Christmas to you and your wife.  This poem started the New Year off well.  It put a smile on my face as I remembered some of the cats we boarded when we had the kennels.  I remember one cat Derek was picking up because the people were going on holiday and the lady had hung all her holiday dresses around her bedroom.  When the cat saw the basket come out he ran into the lady's bedroom and started clawing at the dresses which all fell down and the cat escaped under the bed.  Imagine what went through the Husband's mind when he saw Derek crawl out from under the bed.   

Moya xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

And a Happy New Year from both of us, dear Moya. It is lovely to hear from you and hope you are keeping well. Are you still treading the boards? I see that you are still writing although less frequently than before.
I do like your sense of humour.
Going back to the topic of cats, I know how single minded they can be. Ours used to plant all his paws to the door of the basket to prevent us putting him in. On the occasions we used a cardboard container, he would scratch it to bits from the inside. He may have been quirky but he was also very affectionate.

Best wishes, Moya. xxx