Sharing

By Rhiannonw

Sat, 25 Aug 2018
  • 2000 reads
9 comments
 

Stresses stretch
the nerves and
pressures push
to crush
and trap:

share the shouldered burdens
before they’re shed, you snap
as shattered, uselessly you drop
are forced to stop –

yoked oxen steadily can plod
with heavy load.

[IP: breaking point]

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous
Philosophy
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I like the fact It's always a good idea to ask for help and not be too proud. Working together as a team is always the best way to achieve goals.

You reinforce the idea in your poem Rhiannon.

Great I P.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Jenny. Yes, it doesn't help others for us to break down under too much just on our own shoulders does it?

I was also reminded how Jesus used the illustration  to say that if weary and heavy laden we can 'yoke up' to him, and he is gentle and his yoke light and gives rest (and always available!).

I have been keeping up with your saga, though haven't thought of comment at present. Many threads to keep tabs on! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Interesting piece Rhiannon, to consider what life must be like for all those oxen which used to plough our fields, shackled together, sharing the load, they must have bonded and brought each other comfort. Steadily can plod, what a lovely sight in the counrtyside. 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jane. Yes, I agree, the sight of the steady oxen and shire horses must have been lovely, and reminds us that plodding is better than rushing and crashing over in haste or trying to carry too much weight without help! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

This is one of your alliteration masterpieces! Using the sounds and rhythm as a way to say the same thing as the words' meaning, it's so clever! I think this is one of my favourites of yours so far :0)

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Di! It was fun to work on and find coming out as I wanted in the end!

I hope all is going well for the travel of the start of the new term - I've just realised the autumn term starts much earlier in Scotland. I gathered the journeys were going to be rather tedious, especially at his age. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Arg! The travel is AWEFUL Rhiannon! How kind and clever of you to remember! I'm not sure he is going to be able to stick at it. The pier is being fixed soon, which means the ferry he usually gets won't run so will have to go at 6.30 am. He's been doing it a week and a half now with a 7 am start (up at 5.55 am and that's bad enough when you're a teenager.) There's no point being at a better school if you're falling asleep for the last lesson or two so I've said if he's not coping in two weeks he should come back to the school here. I don't know if that's the right thing

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I hope 2 weeks may give him a conviction about where he feels is better, too. Hard decision, but a bit of experience of the travel challenges and the alternative school will be something for him to ponder anyway!

I hope (and pray) you'll know peace about it too. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

thankyou :0)

I am wondering why this poem isn't cherry picked? I can tell with mine that the cherry picker is always right but I think this one of yours is so musical