Angel 29 (amnesty)

Angel smiled when she saw Tony waiting for her in the visiting room. She wanted to hug him, but sat across from him grinning. ‘You came.’

‘Aye,’ he sighed. ‘I wanted to get a few things straightened out.’

Her expression changed to a smirk. She turned her head deliberately from side to side and laughed. ‘Where’s your sidekick? Yous two are usually glued at the hip.’

‘I just thought it would be better if we could have a chat in private – you know whit he’s like. He’s murder. It’s like having a human megaphone permanently hanging around your neck.’

She nodded in agreement.  He rubbed at the side of his face and chin as an awkward silence developed amid the hubbub of other prisoners.

‘And it’s fucking murder getting here, as well,’ blurted Tony. ‘Takes mair than two hours and costs a fortune.’

‘Appreciate it,’ Angel bit at her lip. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but the meeting wasn’t going as planned. There was another awkward silence. ‘I know it’s hard for you, but you wouldn’t believe how made up we are in here when we know we’re going to get a visit. It’s all we talk about all week. But I know it’s selfish.’

‘I know, I’ve only been inside for the weekend and that for stupid things like fighting, but I can see where you’re coming fae.’ He wet his lips and shook his head, his eyes crinkling. ‘That other thing. Wouldnae work. Sorry, but just wouldnae work.’

She rubbed at her eyes, his hand, finger-tapping on the table. Already he was looking beyond fluorescent lights and behind her head at the clock. ‘Tony,’ she said his name in such a soft and warm way that he looked at her face and into her eyes, for what seemed the first time that evening. She reached across and took his hand. ‘I’ve had a lot of time to think and you know that I love you.’  

‘Aye, I love you tae,’ he gently pulled his hand away, reclaiming it. ‘But no like that.’

‘Like what?’

‘No.’ he waved a finger, his voice low.  ‘You know whit I mean.’   

‘We’ve no had sex.’

A guy with a scar on the side of his cheek glanced over at her face and checked out her tits when she said the word ‘sex’ before resuming his conversation with his partner, when Angel looked back at him.

‘Well, that as well.’ Tony grunted as he pressed back into the seat and stretched his legs, but he smiled. ‘But it’s no just as simple as that.’

‘It is Tony. It is.’

‘No, it’s no. Don’t be so stupid.’

Her blonde hair fell to the side and over her face as she leaned forward. ‘Tony, give me your hand.’

‘Which one?’

‘Any one,’ she shrugged. ‘Does it matter?’

She stroked his hand, kneaded his fingers. ‘Remember when used to watch the telly, sitting side by side, whit was it again?’

‘The Flashing Blade,’ he smiled. ‘You liked that. But you were a bit scared of Dr Who.’

‘And remember when we were in the Home together and you took care of me. There was that woman, that pretty woman, I can’t remember her name.’

‘That was Julie.’ Tony sniggered. ‘She was a total darling. All the elder boys wanted to…you know. And all the girls wanted to be like her. To be her…But you were too young to know that.’

She kissed his hand at the curve of the thumb. ‘And then there was that plonker, Bob.’

‘Aye, he was fucking murder. Completely useless. He used to wear leather Jesus sandals, for fuck sake.’

‘You took care of me Tony.’ She pulled him closer and put his hand on her breasts. ‘Feel my heart beating.’

He whipped his hand away. ‘Don’t do that.’

‘What?’

‘You know what.’

She reddened a little but her tone remained upbeat. ‘It’s not all about sex, Tony.’

He leaned back in his chair, hands together in his lap. ‘Yes it is.’  

‘Well, whit about you and Bruno then?’ She arched her neck.

‘Whit about us?’ He sounded angry. ‘I get that kinda shite all the time. We’re just pals. You should know that better than anybody else. He helped me oot a couple of times when I’d naewhere to stay.’   

‘I like Bruno,’ she was quick to say. ‘I like him a lot.’

‘I know you dae.’ His head dropped. ‘But I get a lot of guff, about this aw the time…And he loves it. Plays it to the hilt.’

‘And you’ve never…?’

‘Nah,’ he shook his head, checking to see if anybody was listening. ‘When we were much younger and still in the Home, he was rattling on about the first time he tried to suck himself aff and how he got into a fix with his head pressed into his crotch and his legs over his head, but he just couldnae manage it without breaking his neck. And I’d been kidding him on that such things were impossible, but you know whit he’s like. Nae shame, he took aff his jim-jams and you know…he tried to prove me wrang.’

‘I can imagine,’ she whispered, noting his inability to meet her eyes.

‘Well, to cut to the chase, he wanked me off a bit and sucked me off too.’ The slightest of nods and he scratched at his chest. ‘I’ve never told anybody that.’  

‘It was just sex,’ she said.

‘Exactly,’ he was quick to agree. ‘But Bruno never lets me forget it.’

‘Exactly,’ she said. ‘Now you know how I feel.’

‘Aye, but that doesnae change anything,’ he warned her. ‘Nothing.’

‘Course it does. If we can agree that sex isn’t necessarily love. Then we can talk about what matters most and it’s this baby. I know whit you’re like, you’re gentle and kind and caring and the most loyal person I’ve e’er met. If everybody was like you the world would be a so much better place…And you’d make a great da. Not in the biological sense, but in the real sense that you’ll love her as your own.’

‘Hi,’ he cut in. ‘I’m no admitting to anything.  Don’t keep saying that kinda stuff. You could always talk in circles.’

‘Just promise you’ll think about it?’ She reached across and grasped his hand. ‘That’s all I can ask.’