Last Week I Lost My Job (Rimus Dissolutas)

Cherry

By Jane Hyphen

Tue, 12 Mar 2019
  • 5739 reads
13 comments
 

 

Last week I lost my job

My boss died and me?

I was thrown away like litter

I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead

But the man’s character was poor

 

I sit and stare, a blob

Don’t know how to be

To be honest I feel bitter

Confused feelings take over my head

Not sure what to do, it’s still raw

 

Thinking makes my head throb

And yet I am free

But my internal transmitter

Has a default setting of dark dread

Fear of being jobless the core

 

Certificate U
Poetry Monthly

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

It's quite fun to play around with rhymes in this way, isn't it? Not to make them too lumpy, and try to see how they help to keep a rhythm going. I liked the 'blob'! And you've brought in a lot about the feelings of the situation. The form does seem to give a rhythm to a long story, as long as the flow doesn't jerk about! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks Rhiannon, it's a true story and it was fun trying to stick to the format although doing it with any level of sophistication is very difficult isn't it.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Jane, even when you said it was a true story, I didn't realise it was autobiographical. Sorry about the job loss, and I hope you find a comfortable solution soon. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for the cherries, ha ha, doesn't seem worthy really but I did at least stick to the technical brief. I might have another go at it, as Rhiannon said it is quite fun. It would be good to add some finesse although it might be too much of a head squeezer!

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Again, I'm so pleased you enjoyed having a go at this challenge (see my comment on  Rhiannon's piece) - I hope you do have another attempt. On a personal note - I remember you saying how your boss died very suddenly, which is sad etc but the fall-out is shocking - I am so sorry to hear it. Hope you find something else soon

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you, it is shocking but having a site like this to go and writing friends is a great comfortsmiley

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

You have stuck to the technical brief exceptionally well, Jane. The fact that you were able to cope with the unfortunate situation by composing a little poetic gem is admirable - although small consolation for losing your job.

Best wishes, Luigi x

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thank you, your positive comments mean a lot.

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

You've conveyed all your feelings brilliantly, specially how jobs are seen as defining people, so not having one makes a person a blob. And yet not having a specific shape/a slot to fit into, makes you able to go anywhere, the possibility of being anything, a seed in the wind. No one knows what it will be till it lands and settles in and its first leaves unfurl?

You will not stay jobless! You are articulate, capable, intelligent. You can grow anywhere!

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Hi Di_Hard thank you for your lovely comment, it really helps. I'm not very good at selling myself and being all business-like like hence I used to work in horticulture, maybe I will go back to it. It's easy to shrink into yourself in these situations so your positive advice is valuable.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Jane,

I'm sorry you've lost your job, it's probably hard to comprehend at the moment, but maybe there's something better out there just waiting for you...that light just around the corner.

I do hope so and wish you well.

I have no idea about these new ways of writing. I looked up rimus dissolutas, but still couldn't understand. But I thought your poem worked anyway with what you were trying to convey.

Jenny.  

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

Thanks for your kind words Jenny, maybe you're right, things may change for the better. Sometimes the themes for poetry monthly are too much of a challenge, Haiku for example elluded me completely but I thought I could have a go at this and it was fun.