Last Week I Lost My Job (Rimus Dissolutas)
By Jane Hyphen
- 5749 reads
Last week I lost my job
My boss died and me?
I was thrown away like litter
I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead
But the man’s character was poor
I sit and stare, a blob
Don’t know how to be
To be honest I feel bitter
Confused feelings take over my head
Not sure what to do, it’s still raw
Thinking makes my head throb
And yet I am free
But my internal transmitter
Has a default setting of dark dread
Fear of being jobless the core
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Comments
It's quite fun to play around
It's quite fun to play around with rhymes in this way, isn't it? Not to make them too lumpy, and try to see how they help to keep a rhythm going. I liked the 'blob'! And you've brought in a lot about the feelings of the situation. The form does seem to give a rhythm to a long story, as long as the flow doesn't jerk about! Rhiannon
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Jane, even when you said it
Jane, even when you said it was a true story, I didn't realise it was autobiographical. Sorry about the job loss, and I hope you find a comfortable solution soon. Rhiannon
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Again, I'm so pleased you
Again, I'm so pleased you enjoyed having a go at this challenge (see my comment on Rhiannon's piece) - I hope you do have another attempt. On a personal note - I remember you saying how your boss died very suddenly, which is sad etc but the fall-out is shocking - I am so sorry to hear it. Hope you find something else soon
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You have stuck to the
You have stuck to the technical brief exceptionally well, Jane. The fact that you were able to cope with the unfortunate situation by composing a little poetic gem is admirable - although small consolation for losing your job.
Best wishes, Luigi x
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You've conveyed all your
You've conveyed all your feelings brilliantly, specially how jobs are seen as defining people, so not having one makes a person a blob. And yet not having a specific shape/a slot to fit into, makes you able to go anywhere, the possibility of being anything, a seed in the wind. No one knows what it will be till it lands and settles in and its first leaves unfurl?
You will not stay jobless! You are articulate, capable, intelligent. You can grow anywhere!
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Hi Jane,
Hi Jane,
I'm sorry you've lost your job, it's probably hard to comprehend at the moment, but maybe there's something better out there just waiting for you...that light just around the corner.
I do hope so and wish you well.
I have no idea about these new ways of writing. I looked up rimus dissolutas, but still couldn't understand. But I thought your poem worked anyway with what you were trying to convey.
Jenny.
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