Katy, A Ghost Story (IP)
By Insertponceyfrenchnamehere
- 16330 reads
‘Are you coming?” He asks mildy
And I think - here I am trying to sort out the bloody potatoes and I’m getting hotter and hotter and there he is sounding so calm and reasonable; drives me mad. If he helped more this wouldn’t happen in the first place. You know what? Nothing tastes good when you have to make it all yourself. Once. Just once I wish he'd do it. No scrap that – he makes such a mess when he does, I might as well just sodding do it myself. Next door, in the dining room, I can hear laughter, the chink of knives and forks, one of the girls singing.
“Yes! Just stop hassling”
I know I sound angry. The big bad mummy. It’s how I feel though. It’s a heat of the moment thing, know what I mean? So anyway I’m just about to hurl the whole fucking bowl at the wall, or him, or scream, or something – and one of the girls comes in – and it’s steamy, and I’m cross and I have the stupid oven gloves on and I’m so distracted – and then whichever it is wraps her arms around me tight, and I look down at the top of the little blonde head, and she says “thank you mummy it was delicious”, and out of the corner of my eye I see her put the plate in the sink; then she runs off again, and momentarily I think “Jesus that was quick” but I’m too busy trying to salvage the potatoes to say anything.
When I’m done, I carry them through to the dining room – we always insist on family supper there – it’s such a good example to them isn’t it? Everyone round the table, just as we imagined they would be, chattering, sharing news. I remember talking about it with John when they were babies – it’s a big thing with me, and Lucy looks up and I’m just about to say “put the knife down”- she’s waving it around all over the place, and then she says “Mummy who was the girl running up the stairs just now?”
And then everything stops. Goes into slow motion, if you know what I mean, and this prickly feeling goes through me – starts at the back of my neck and runs through me like an electric shock. I look around, and the girls have barely touched their food – makes sense, it’s only been five minutes since they started, and I say “who came into the kitchen just now?” and my voice sounds weird – breaking into the sudden silence. As I knew they would, they look at me blankly, not understanding. And then John looks up – he knows by now that something’s wrong. He looks puzzled. “No-one” he says. And then I don’t think I can stand up anymore, and I sit down, and they’re all watching me.
Then Lucy says it again, twisting one of her curls around her finger like she does; “who was that girl going upstairs mummy?” And John goes to stand up, but I say “no” quietly. And I get up. I’m shaky, but I can do it, and I go to the stairs and look up: nothing. I put my hand on the banisters, and I start to climb. I know what I’ll find at the top.
I go into each bedroom, checking, although I know there’ll be nothing, the way I check under the bed for Lottie when she swears there’s a monster there. Lastly I go into our bedroom, and I sit down on the bed, because this is where she slept – Katy. We put all three girls in here in the moses basket at first, makes feeding easier at night, then they went into cots in their own rooms at six months. Only Katy never did of course. And as I sit on the bed I remember something else, the only other time something’s happened. The weight on my shoulder, after we lost her. It was how I supported her head. She was never old enough to manage it herself – it must have been about six months after, and I was in here crying – I was already pregnant with Lucy then – and I felt that weight again. I knew what it was of course. There wasn’t one single doubt in my mind, and it wasn’t frightening – I wasn’t scared – the opposite. And I know – I knew when she came into the kitchen just now, I knew it was one of mine – they are all so similar. Makes sense. I’m okay now – really. It was just a bit of a shock. I’m okay now. I’ll go back downstairs again in a minute.
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Comments
It's so great to read
It's so great to read something of yours again! And to hear it. Beautifully read.
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Where have you kept this
Where have you kept this little gem, insert.? Thanks for dusting it off and sharing it. A beutiful story and very nicely read. This week's I.P. has started to pay dividends.
Luigi x
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Just finished listening to
Just finished listening to your story insert. The saddness of loosing a child comes over really well and is so believable in your voice.
It's nice to read your written work again,but even better when read by the author.
Jenny.
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Your story and words felt so
Your story and words felt so real. The acceptance of the spirit of the lost child, still ephemerally in their lives, was touching and heartfelt. The notion that The Mother and Child connection is never severed came through beautifully. Katy is moving along with the lives of her family, growing as she would have and appearing at times to comfort.
A very moving and well told story, it truly captured my heart.
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Clever because I got duped by
Clever because I got duped by all the small, domestic stuff - like potatoes! - and then it was very moving by the end.
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What a wonderful story - and
What a wonderful story - and all the better for hearing it as well! This is our facebook and twitter pick of the day!
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Loved it. Thank you x
Loved it.
Thank you x
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they will alwys be yours
they will alwys be yours
good story
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It's a "Wow!" one. Made the
It's a "Wow!" one. Made the hairs stand up and warmed the heart.
Don't stop now.
You really did justice to the topic here. Concept > execution. "Skills!", as people have been known to say. Catherine is spot on.
I like the way you placed us in the character's shoes.
Going back to an exchange earlier, there's not much that's subjective or ambiguous here. Very well crafted. Well revealed. Well told.
A great pick.
Parson Thru
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Just listened to the reading.
Just listened to the reading. Wonderful.
Parson Thru
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The weight on your shoulder,
The weight on your shoulder, that is the most precious feeling, isnt it? I didn't feel I was a mother till I felt that, like somehow I was balanced. And the sense of unbalance you brought to the story was so strong, like the narrator couldn't be whole because children are part of us and Katy had gone before. To be reminded of not being able to hold my son when I want to.
The reading was brilliant too because you sound real, not like you are reading a story.
I do hope you feel able to write more soon. You encourage us all so much, I wish we could do the same for you!
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It's a BRILLIANT IP, I do
It's a BRILLIANT IP, I do hope it lasts forever and not just a week! It is a fabulous extra dimension for the site, I am enjoying it so much :0)
You are not squeeky at ALL
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How good it is to finally
How good it is to finally hear your mellifluous musings. And, yes, you should write more. This was excellent.
Rich x
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I was hoping to do one this
I was hoping to do one this weekend, insert. Trying to find the right one. But I will do it. Thnaks so much for asking
Rich
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This is our Story of the Week
This is our Story of the Week. Congratulations!
And please write more!
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This is our Story of the Week
This is our Story of the Week. Congratulations!
And please write more!
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