In a World Gone Mad: Sunday 17 May 2020...1

Sunday 17 May 2020

It’s 03:15 and I’m up again. We never went to bed until half two, so no sleep again.  Arthur was up at three clumping about and ranting. He upset Max with his general confusion, and I upset Max, so he’s unsettled as well.

Max has done a couple of things I’m not happy about; one that’s upset me tonight and one that’s annoyed me.

We had a music night tonight. Our date night consists of Max, me—and Andy, he’s struggling with the isolation so we can’t leave him out. He’s used his time well he’s been working out to build himself up and learning guitar.

When lockdown came about, he didn’t know the basic chords. He hasn’t mastered finger picking yet, but he can play along to most of the songs we try. The kid’s really turned a corner the last couple of months and I’m proud of him.  

I’ve got a cold coming on and am a bit run down, it’s been a tough old slog the last couple of months. I wasn’t feeling it tonight but had two small vodka’s to be sociable. I was ready for bed by midnight, but Max wanted to stay up, so we carried on until the wee small hours.

Max bought Arthur a DAB radio this morning, it’s Bluetooth enabled and can be operated remotely form a phone. One of the songs we were working on is Pencil Full of Lead by Paulo Lutini. It has a funky jazz intro. Andy and I were joking, and he said he was going to get his own back on Arthur for waking us up every night by setting it to come on in his room in the middle of the night. I said it wouldn’t bother Arthur and he’d be dancing on his bed. Two other songs we played with are a slow bluesy version of Billie Gene and Kirsty McColl: A New England. Andy hasn’t heard some of the songs we ask him to have a go at, but he’s receptive.

Max can be sensitive where his dad’s concerned and I don’t know if he was annoyed with us for poking fun at him, but at the time, all he said was ‘Behave you two.’ And he laughed with us.

Andy said he thought Arthur was ill in the bathroom sink because there were brown flecks on it when he went up. Two months ago, he’d have left it for us to clean, but he did it before coming downstairs.  Max said he thought it was just from Arthur cleaning his dentures.

The conversation got round to Arthur’s coughing up. My gag reflex is heightened first thing in the morning. And I said that he literally makes me heave every morning.

Max said something horrible and cruel and he was horrified afterwards.

‘Touché. Welcome to my world.’ Was what he said, but the inference was that I’d made him feel physically sick every morning for the last three years. He saw the look on my face and regretted it as the words left his mouth.

When we went to bed he apologised again.

‘I’m so sorry, that was careless of me. You know I was only joking; I don’t see you like that.’

He said he’d forgotten how much I hate my appearance. Breaking it down to a couple of thoughtless words, it didn’t bother me that much. But he put me down in front of Andy and it did hurt—not a lot, but some. I think he hurt himself by it more than me.

I don’t want anybody thinking badly of Max, he’s the most gentle person and very kind and loving. He will do anything for his family, and it’s been a big thing for him taking on his son and his dad. He’s got Andy through some dark times with the drugs and his dad is a constant drain, but he has ‘almost’ endless patience with him. When Arthur kicks off, Max can bring him down by joking with him. He does a lot for other people.

However, the other thing that’s annoyed me is more serious.

Arthur has money. He has a hundred and fifty thousand in the bank and a house worth almost four hundred thousand that’s mortgage free because he bought it outright. He has no living costs while he’s with us so his two pensions—state and private—go into the bank and sit there untouched and accumulating.

A few months ago, Archie his youngest son, wanted to build his business. He’s a carpet fitter and worked for other people all his life until last year. We moved into this house ten months ago and we are still waiting for carpets from him for four rooms. We couldn’t afford to pay him outright and he agreed to take a hundred pounds a month. He said it would be done within a month and although the downstairs has flooring, apart from the lounge, upstairs is yet to be done. I’ve put large rugs down.

When Archie rented premises, he needed money—lots of money.  The brothers, and Arthur had a meeting and it was agreed that thirty thousand pounds would be released to him form Arthur’s estate. Arthur would have no recollection of this if he was asked, but he fully agreed with it at the time.  He lacks capacity to make informed decisions.

The boys felt that Archie would get it anyway when Arthur died, the money was sitting in the bank and why not have it when he needed it? Not that it matters, but Archie spent five thousand on the business and bought a van that was supposed to be for work, but it is a flash family vehicle with top of the range interior and seating throughout that he can offset against his tax. He bought a hot tub for his garden and a building to house it in.

I hated it. I thought the transaction was crass and he was spending Arthur’s money before the poor old sod was in the ground. It was nothing to do with me, but I was dead against it. Apart form a wardrobe for £369.00 for Arthur’s benefit, his money hasn’t been touched since.

It’s Max’s birthday next Friday. He’s been banging on about a fancy guitar for months.

He first mentioned this bloody guitar last year and said it would be the best in town. He’s all about the show. He wanted to get it on credit. I don’t do debt. Since being with him, I have my car tax and internet on direct debit. Prior to him, I didn’t have a debit or standing order for fifteen years. We need four carpets. I’m going to be working from home and my laptop is on its last legs, I need a new one. I wouldn’t allow them on finance, and these are things that we need— and he wanted a bloody three grand guitar that will sound the same as his wall full of guitars in the music room.  I will not buy on credit. I buy what I can afford and save for what I can’t.

 I refused and thought that was an end to it.