Doll

Cherry

By airyfairy

Mon, 18 May 2020
  • 3427 reads
16 comments
 

    DOLL

 

Author's reading:  https://soundcloud.com/user-968566758

 

This doll here, I’ve had her for ages.  She may not be the prettiest -  well, not now she’s a bit battered.  But there’s comfort in familiarity.  There she is with her smile and her softness, nothing scary, nothing untoward.  She’s my everyday doll. 

    No, don’t open that box.  Leave it alone. 

    This other doll, just over here, with the strings, she’s a bit smarter than the old everyday one.  I’ve had her nearly as long, but I don’t get her out as much.  Her clothes are a bit fresher than the everyday one.  See?  Yes, I thought you’d like her.  She’s quite fun, isn’t she?  Look, you can make her bow and wave and even do a little dance, if you want.  One step, two steps, hop, jump… You can literally make her bend over backwards, if you know how to pull the strings.  It took me a while to figure it out, but I’ve got it down pat now. 

    This one?  Oh, I don’t get her out very often these days.  I think she’s a bit scary.  There was someone, once, who said she reminded him of that witch, Ursula, in The Little Mermaid.  The Disney movie, you know?  The horrid big fat woman in black who’s really evil, and wants to spoil everything for everyone.  I never used to see her like that.  I always thought she looks kind of majestic.  A bit scary, like I say, but not horrid and mean.  Just…not afraid of her own power.  Sure of who she is.  I saw her more as Galadriel, the elf queen in Lord of the Rings.  Powerful, but kind, unless someone does something that she thinks is really wrong, and then she gets angry, very angry, roaringly, screamingly angry sometimes, but who wouldn’t?  Still, once someone points it out to you, you can’t help but see it the other way.  So I keep her there, on the shelf, and I only get her down when I’m on my own.  Sometimes she looks like Ursula to me, too, and then I have to really concentrate to see Galadriel.

    No, I told you.  Leave the box alone.

    These are just the ones I’ve held on to.  I’ve had a lot of them over the years. Well, you know, some of them get a bit shabby, and a bit worn, and I don’t even like them myself after a while.  Some of them I’ve looked at and thought, my goodness, what on earth was I thinking, but I liked them at the time, liked to show them off, thought other people might like them too.  Sometimes I cringe when I think of how they must have seemed to others.  Our tastes do change, as time passes. There are ones I miss, though.  I’m sorry I let them go.  There was one, she had this surprised, happy face, as though the world was a constant revelation, in a good way.  As though there was a delighted little chuckle always hidden behind her lips, just waiting to get out.  I’m not quite sure what happened to her.  Got lost somewhere along the way. 

    Please, put the box down.  Put it down.

    Now this one – she’s a bit naughty, really.  She’s got lovely hair, hasn’t she?  And she’s beautifully modelled.  A lot of people used to like playing with her, back in the day.  All good fun, everyone enjoyed it, and most of them were careful with her.  There were one or two…well, there’s always one or two, aren’t there?  A bit heavy-handed.  Some are careless, and some just get their kicks breaking things.  She’s had a few repairs, but she’s more or less intact.  She’s another one who spends her time on the shelf now.  She’s a bit too creaky to come out to play.  Anyway, who’d want to, with all those repairs, those bits of sticky tape holding things together?

    What are you doing? 

    Please don’t.

    Please…

    Well, what did you expect?  You can go on opening boxes all day, you’ll never get to what’s inside.  I don’t know why you wanted to.  Look at all these beautiful dolls.  Even the not so beautiful ones.  Isn’t that enough for you?  Why do you want to break through all the boxes for the one you can’t see?

    You wouldn’t like her, anyway. 

    You have this one.  I’ll show you how to work the strings.  Make her dance.  There, it’s easy, isn’t it?  I knew you’d like her.

 

Song:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnzY8NgxaWI

 

   

     

   

   

     

        

     

   

 

   

   

   

  

Certificate 15
Story
Imitating Life (One-off Stories)
Other Fiction
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by littleditty on

Brill - the idea and how I like all of them! Poor creaky..all of them! Resisting rummaging and nostalgia or bad memories, nice resistance when sometimes resistance is futile. Like this lots!

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

Thank you littleditty, that's really kind.  I'm so pleased you liked it.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Brilliantly quirky - and thank you for the audio too!

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

I like a bit of quirk.  Although I think lockdown might mean I'm overdosing on the quirk.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I used to love dolls, but sadly over the years had to part with them. I loved your story, it reminded me of a book I read as a child about a mother who sent her daughter's dolls to the doll hospital to be repaired, they came back all neatly wrapped up in fine paper, placed in a box looking brand new. 

Some dolls are just for looking at like the national dolls in their countrys costumes we used to get in the 1950s and early 60s.

Again a lovely story and I did enjoy hearing you read.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

Thank you, Jenny!  Ah, dolls' hospitals!  I remember taking a couple of precious dolls to be nursed back to life there.  It was such a lovely concept.  I had several of those dolls in national costume - they were all the rage then.  I used to put all my dolls (not the costumed ones though!) to bed every night before I would consider going to bed myself.  I can still remember the faintly murderous look in my mother's eyes when I insisted on singing each one of them a lullaby.  

Submitted by Di_Hard on

This made me think the dolls were the narrator's character/way of being, over their lifetime, so it was sad that the happy one had been lost, and the one which laughs had been battered by people who like to break things. That the one who could be made to bend over backwards was the one that survived because the empowered one is seen as evil. And the empty box is when there are no more roles to play?

I hope very much that little girls soon won't grow up feeling like that

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

That's pretty much it, Di.  Actually, your comment has made me think - I know a lot of boys feel that way too, and on reflection I think the piece would be much better if it was more gender neutral.  I'll have to get the red pen out.  Thank you!  And that's what I love about this place - ideas get sparked all the time.  

Submitted by sean mcnulty on

Love it. And the reading too.

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

Thank you, Sean.  I'm practising more readings.  My resolution for When All This Is Over is to go with the friend who's always badgering me to come along to Word Open Mic nights.  I've always been too scared to brave a bunch of complete and often pissed strangers in a pub, but now I'll just be so grateful to be in the pub, I won't care.

Submitted by littleditty on

a Teddy or two..there's something a bit spooky about the whole doll thing (for me!) - which I think is fine here! Dolls can be a bit like clowns for some people, I('m not alone in that i hope!) - but it is endearingingly told, and it's a doll's piece...so...nice! May be there are enough stories/poems with soldiers and cars? :)

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

So glad you got the spooky bit, littleditty!  (Also, I don't know if you've listened to the song, but it's the weirdest and creepiest version of that song I've ever heard.)  Any changes would leave the story about the dolls, but make it so that it could apply to both male and female, and all points in between and beyond.  I suppose it's about identity in general, but it just came out this way in this initial writing.  

I'm so grateful for your interest - lots to think about with this one now!

Submitted by littleditty on

 

 

Submitted by Stephen Thom on

Entertaining and odd in the best kind of way, much enjoyed smiley

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

Thank you Stephen - if you don't mind, I'll take that for my epitaph.  Entertaining and odd in the best kind of way.  I can think of nothing better.  I might add 'Much enjoyed', but it could raise questions from my kids.  laugh

Submitted by celticman on

ah, girls and their dolls. Boys were prone to whip their knickers down (as a good Cahtollic, I wouldn't) only to be dispppinted.