Old Nick's

On the menu this year

we have Hobson’s Choice,

as for cutlery,

every diner receives

a complimentary Morton’s Fork.

The upper dining room

is open for customers

from thirteen o’clock:

access is via the Escher staircase

next the dangerous kitchen.

Please satanise on entry,

and we ask you to mask feelings

from our highly-trained

staff who have been waiting for millennia

for lockdown to end, too.