Dreams of Rain

Cherry

By marandina

Sun, 01 Aug 2021
  • 1498 reads
10 comments
 

 

A wind-swept, seeping rain dances

on bedroom windows, houses opposite

obscured –            

 

streets are empty, twilight gloom

broken by neon street lamps –

 

sounds echo, muffled from below,

murmurs and whispers court

screen scandal and disaster –

 

I listen to the beating on

solemn glass panes,

in the distance I hear

car alarms wailing and  –

 

close the door to join you

once more in a broken dream.

 

Image free to use via WikiCommons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hard_rain_on_a_roof.jpg

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous Poems
Romance

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Just love this poem Paul. There's a drama about rain beating against the window, like you're under attack...yet the pane is your protection from the dangers that lie on the outside. Once more safe as you awake.

So inspiring and thank you for sharing.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah thanks for reading it, Jenny. It was a different structure which I haven't tried before. Glad you liked it. Paul x

 

Submitted by onemorething on

There is something very dreamy about rain which is perhaps why I love it. I like this, the scene, the element of mystery. :)

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah thanks for reading, Rachel. I just wanted to try something different and more succinct. It could be better with more work. Thanks again. Paul :)

 

Submitted by Penny4athought on

I like the way you start, with the gloom of the rain, the blurred, obscure vision of what lies beyond a window's watershed of raindrops. All the interspersed pieces of unclear, half heard voices mingling in the down pour, it is familiar to any who have listened to a rainstorm but then you end it, leaving us wondering...what broken dream?...and with whom? Great movement and flow of scene in this poem; I pictured a night with street lamp's glow blurred by drenching rain and my only critique: I wish it had been longer. smiley

Penny4athought

Submitted by marandina on

Ah fab, thanks Penny. I guess I could draft again at some point and add more in. I think the structure is OK. The poem seems to work well. Thanks for your honest thoughts - they help. Paul :)

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah thanks for the cherries, ABC Eds. That's made my day. Paul :)

 

Submitted by celticman on

geez don't spoit it, bring on the sunshine. 

 

Submitted by marandina on

Sorry CM. It has been raining most of the weekend here, though. If it's sunny North of the Border - enjoy! Thanks for reading, sir.

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Paul

You captured the mood of the rain very well. Much enjoyed.

Jean Day