Swimming Snake

Gold cherry

By MJG

Wed, 25 Aug 2021
  • 1899 reads
12 comments
 

The grass snake purls water,

spreads ripples across the canal’s slow-undulating surface.

A miniature, muscular wave roils shadows of heaped summer clouds,

floating over this long, narrow pond between baked-clay banks.

 

Golden eyed, barred mouth, striated scaled,

gliding elegantly. Flanked by oaring  water boatmen,

 skimming towards mossy earth, rooted with purple loosestrife, oxeye daisies,

swaying meadowsweet, aromatic water mint.

 

The snake rears, elongates and slides into undergrowth.

Its supple body, concealed

as a heron floats over this fading industrial haunt

of fishermen, boaters, walkers.

 

 

Image: Wikimedia Commons

Certificate U
Poem
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

A clear, enjoyable picture. I've vivid memory of a glimpse of a grass snake crossing a stream like that years ago. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by MJG on

I'm not scared of snakes ( I am of heights and maggots make me run a mile) but this was a very beautiful moment and I wanted to capture it.... I love old waterways

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Wonderful poem that flows perfectly and is so inspiring.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by MJG on

 

 

Submitted by MJG on

I had a rubbish night and hardly slept, so I wrote this like a salve and it's worked

 

Submitted by marandina on

A beautiful moment captured by a beautiful poem

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I love the long, flowing sounds of " canal’s slow-undulating" and "miniature, muscular" which contrast brilliantly with "hot-clay banks"

and "Golden eyed, barred mouth, striated scaled," the list uncoils like a snake's shape in water, and "The snake rears, elongates and slides into undergrowth." rears and slides, where the snake is comfortable, in its right shape, and "elongates" a complicated, angly sort of word for when it's off balance, not quite in control, is so clever.

And the last line, you make the place sound so mundane, yet holding this prehistoric wonder.

Hope you slept better tonight , though :0)

 

Submitted by MJG on

Thank you Di for your in-depth review and I'm so glad you liked the poem.... sleep still elusive x

 

Submitted by sean mcnulty on

This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the day. Please share and retweet.

 

Submitted by MJG on

for the cherry and making me pick of the day. It does so much good to my (lack of) confidence in writing.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I really enjoyed reading this. I like the way that your words seem to slide and ripple as smoothly as the grass snake and the surface of the canal water. As I read I could clearly see in my mind the scene and the movements and sense the atmosphere.

Turlough

Turlough

Submitted by MJG on

It's lovely to have your feedback