They Think I’ve Gone Berserk (with music video)

Cherry

By Turlough

Wed, 22 Dec 2021
  • 1748 reads
14 comments
 

This is a poem I wrote about forty years ago. I was working as a waiter in a cocktail bar at the time. My dear friend Anthony Healey found the faded manuscript in a dusty old trunk in an attic. He picked it out, he shook it up and turned it around. Turned it into something new with his music.

At the foot of the post there’s a link to the music video. I hope the cheesiness doesn’t harm the good name of the ABC Tales group.

Their third hit and probably their most melodic so far. Poetic licence was pushed to the limit but they had to do that to maintain the dynamic flow of the rhythm and rhyme. – Melody Maker

Not very good. – The Dagenham Advertiser

 

Words by Turlough Ó Maoláin

Music by Anthony Healey

Choreography by the Ed Miller Band

 

They Think I’ve Gone Berserk – A Football Anthem

 

I’ve had a letter in the Evening Post.

I’ve asked my mates at work.

They think I’m daft. An imbecile!

They think I’ve gone berserk.

That’s what they think,

That I’ve gone berserk.

 

I’ve asked my wife. She’s leaving

If I don’t give it up.

She’ll change her mind, I’m sure she will,

When we win the FA Cup.

‘Cause we’re gonna win,

We’re gonna win the FA Cup.

 

I’ve told my kids I’ll buy them

A great big sticky bun

And a year’s supply of Crunchies

But they just still won’t come.

Oh, no they won’t,

No they will not come.

 

I’ve asked my Ma and Sister.

I’ve even asked the cat.

But they’re too busy and in a rush,

To be bothered with all that.

Yeah, I’m telling you man

They’re real busy cats.

 

I’ve asked my Cousin Kevin,

Uncle James and Auntie Joyce.

They’d rather move to Stoke, they said,

If they had to make a choice.

In Stoke they’re saying

‘Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!’

 

I’ve asked the postman and the milkman,

The paperboy as well,

If they’d go there with me.

They just said, ‘Now go to Hell’.

That’s what they said.

They said ‘Going to Hell’.

 

The only person tempted

Was my beloved Nan.

But then she went and changed her mind

Because she’s a Boro fan.

And I’m telling you man

She’s a Boro fan.

 

Its such an awful shame.

A wrong that should be righted.

That no one will accompany me

When I watch Leeds United.

That’s what I said,

When I watch Leeds United.

 

Link to music video

Image: Created by me in 1985. This is the old Lowfields Road stand at the Elland Road stadium in Leeds.

Certificate U
Poem
Poetry in Commotion
Surreal
Humour

Comments

Submitted by marandina on

My daughter lives in Stoke
Well Newcastle-under-Lyme as she always corrects me. There is an anthemic feel to this. I look forward to your forthcoming music gig performed in front of a virtual ABCtales audience :)

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Hello Paul.

I said Stoke because Newcastle-under-Lyme doesn't rhyme. Actually, it does rhyme with rhyme.

Thank you for reading and / or listening and taking the time to comment. I'm very grateful, as ever.

Turlough

Submitted by onemorething on

It made me smile.  Am fairly certain ABCTales can still hold its head up high...

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Phew, that's a relief!

Thank you.

Turlough

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I hope you're sharing all these cherries with Anthony Healey!  Loved all the old footage to accompany the song (and the song too!) My ex was a Leeds supporter and our eldest son (when very little) could never get the name right - he called it 'least united'. Luckily my ex never held it against him smiley

 

Submitted by Turlough on

More cherries! Thank you very much for putting them there.

Turlough

Submitted by donignacio on

Your lyrics made me laugh and I like the tune. Your hazy accompaniment is enjoyable as well. Congrats on the cherries :)

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Thanks very much for that.

Though it's not me but my old friend Anthony who is doing the singing. I just write the words. It's like I'm Bernie Taupin and he's Elton John.

laugh

Turlough

Submitted by Di_Hard on

still recovering from spluttering my tea while reading reviews at the beginning, then it kept being good :0) Particularly liked the cats and Stoke bits

 

Submitted by Turlough on

You can't beat a good splutter of tea. I always find it quite satisfying to discover that I'm responsible for making a mess on someone's jumper.

Thank you for reading and listening and commenting and spluttering.

Turlough

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I think you and Anthony make a great team Turlough. Your lyrics are so much fun and liberating, because you don't take yourself too seriously. Good on you. yes

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Thanks Jenny.

These days I think I've run out of seriousness, not that I had much there in the first place.

Thanks for noticing. Some folks don't.

laugh

 

Turlough

Submitted by airyfairy on

Sending the link to my lad...

Nice one, Turlough, nice one son...

Oh no, that was another club, wasn't it? 

The Dagenham Advertiser needs a new reviewer.

Yes, I want to see you and Anthony as a double act at our next reading! 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Hello Ms A.

What used to be called the Spion Kop at magnificent Elland Road stadium was renamed the Don Revie Stand about thirty years ago. I've had a wee word with Señor Bielsa to see if they could re-rename it as the Scion Kop in appreciation of your lad's loyalty to the club.

Anthony still lives in Leeds and knows nothing about football, hence the mispronunciation of Boro in his singing. I never had this trouble when I worked with Gerry Marsden.

Nice one to you too! 

Turlough