A Centipede went to K-mart

Cherry

By peterelbee

Thu, 20 Jan 2022
  • 1560 reads
12 comments
 

A centipede went to Kmart,
For one thousand pairs of shoes.
She chose all different colours;
Reds, and whites, and blues.

She also bought spare laces,
And one thousand pairs of socks.
Then took them to the counter,
Where they were put into a box.

Next she caught a rabbit cab,
That bounced her to a garden;
She waited there, for her kids,
To return from kindergarten.

Such spending may sound wasteful;
Instead of food to eat,
But she has twenty boys and girls;
And all of them have feet.

Certificate U
Poem
pete de poet
Children's

Comments

Submitted by Ewan on

Good rhyme scheme and proper metre.

You have a typo at line 5. You need "bought" the past tense of "buy", rather than "brought" the past tense of "bring".

Well done!

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by peterelbee on

I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my poem. Brought has been changed to bought. 

peterelbee 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Love this fun poem.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by peterelbee on

Thank you for your feedback. I enjoyed writing it. Glad you like this poem. 

 

 

Submitted by donignacio on

I enjoyed this poem, it's such a nice idea.

 

Submitted by peterelbee on

Everyone deserives good shoes. 

 

Submitted by D G Moody on

A nice one Jenny, I liked the rhyme and the ending is apt.

Dougie

Dougie Moody

Submitted by peterelbee on

HI dougiemoody I am glad you liked my poem about centipede shoes.

Peterelbee  

 

Submitted by Hades502 on

Cute, little poem. I think you would be a great writer for children's poems, along the lines of Dr. Seuss or Shel Silverstein.

GGHades502

Submitted by peterelbee on

I am glad you liked it. 

I am no Seuss or Silverstein, just someone that likes to put his over active imagination into writing. . 

 

Submitted by rosaliekempthorne on

The rhythm was great - smooth and natural, with rhymes that slotted neatly into place and didn't feel at all forced. This had a really professional, polished feel about it, and with its cute and quirky subject matter it all came together just right.

Submitted by peterelbee on

It is always nice to get positive feedback on something you spend time and effort on, quirky as it is. 

Peterelbee