Colorful idioms spice up the conversation

                   Colorful idioms spice up the conversation

             I have written before about my fascination with idioms in the English language. They are both colorful and interesting and can much enhance any conversation.  One example that I use often, as cocktail chatter, has a nautical basis. It also sounds racier than its meaning.

             The British ships of the line in the 1800’s had many traditions. One of them was calling anyone or thing that carried something a “monkey.” Thus, the young lads who ran back and forth for cannon powder from the storage magazine, were called “powder monkeys.” Another example was the metal racks that held canon balls. They were called “ball monkeys.”

             Another tradition, of these warships, was to have “bright work” on all metal work topside. The use of polished brass, for the ball monkeys and other fixtures, made the ship sparkle in the afternoon sun as they entered the harbor. The ball monkeys on the lower decks were made of lead, like the cannon balls .No one saw them and it didn’t matter.

            Usually, this process worked well enough. With proper polishing of the brass,  the ship appeared imposing and ship shape. Where it didn’t work so well was when these sturdy vessels sailed into the far northern or southern latitudes. The temperatures, in those climbs, could drop precipitously. As in any very cold temperature, metal starts to contract. It was no problem below decks. All of the cannon fixtures were made of lead and contracted at the same rate. On the main deck, however, it was different. The “brass monkeys” that shined so well in the sunlight, contracted from the cold at a faster rate than the lead cannon balls sitting atop them. At a certain time, the contracting brass would literally pop the cannon balls from their racks. These lead balls would roll around, to the consternation of the tars working the decks. It is from this physical contraction that evolved one of the more colorful idioms of the British Navy. When the cannon balls started rolling about the deck, the crew would say that it was “cold enough to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey.” That is both a colorful idiom and a conversation enhancer that usually draws an appreciative laugh from listeners.

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                                                 (385 words)

                                              Joseph Xavier Martin