Practice What I Preach.

When I was a young child, my Mum became a nurse. I often used to take her medical books off the shelf and look at them, most of the pictures were in vivid bright colours. All the pictures I found scary, some children and adults had bad rashes, or bulging eyes, or bulging at the throat, or worse. I would feel my eyes or throat to see if I had them. I am not nurse material, but my Mum is made of strong stuff. Lots of things frightened me, but my Mum isn’t easily fazed. I was frightened most of my life. Its amazing really, that I didn’t have an inhaler, nor have I ever been on tablets for stress. Thankfully I have never had a stomach ulcer.

Death has often frightened me, and I know I’m not alone there. About twenty years ago I did my first Will, and have had one set up, since then, so my ‘house is in order,’ so to speak.

Just before Christmas, one of my friends, her Mum took ill suddenly and was rushed to hospital, there she died a few hours later from covid. It shocked us all who knew her.

I worked with a Staff member yesterday and she told me, her guest who was staying at her home for Christmas day, he had a phone call to say, “You Mum is gravely ill, you need to come to the hospital now, before the machine is turned off.” The day before, his Mum only in her sixties, was in the peak of health.

She was found, by another child, in bed eyes closed, and struggling for breath, they rang for an ambulance, only to be told, “We are only coming out for stroke and heart attacks!” So, he and a neighbour quickly got her into a car, and drove her to Accident and Emergency. She was unable to walk, eyes still closed, her arms held over both their shoulders, when the receptionist saw her, they quickly rushed her straight in to see a doctor. They did tests, and lots of medical things, and a few hours later she was dead! How terrible.

While we were at work yesterday, Jess had a phone call from a friend, when she put the phone down, she said, to me, “That was Aaron, he has just been told to go to hospital now, before his Mum’s, life support is switched off, but his Mum, was fit and well the day before.”

She went on, “That is almost identical to yesterday, with the other Mum.” Jess then said, to me, “I wonder if both of them had the vaccine?” I said, “I wouldn’t be surprised, if they had.” Both women were in their sixties, like me.

Jess and myself, we were forced to have the vaccine, all of us at work were, and we had dates that, “If you didn’t have the vaccine, you will be Sacked!” We had the first one, very reluctantly and against our wishes. Then to our horror, we were all told, “If you don’t have the second vaccine you will be sacked.” Like everyone else, we have bills to pay, so again against our wishes, we had to have it. Some good staff left; they didn’t have the vaccine. I have worked there for almost thirty years, and I love my job, in that time, I have had no time off, not one single day. I did my own work, and covered for those who were sick.

Interestingly, every single Staff has had covid but not me, I have never had it. All of us had to be tested, every time we came to work. It was documented and sent off in the post and done on-line and sent to the Government website. Some Staff, has had covid two or three times, so what was the point of the vaccine? We all had to wear masks at work the whole time we were there. Yet again, I digress.

A week before Christmas, my husband told me of a famous, lady who was very large and she wanted to be larger, she had said, one day, “My heart doesn’t feel right,” Then she died the next day. Paul had told me of, “lots of adults who were suddenly dropping dead, who were healthy before they died, there were lots of articles about this.”

I didn’t really let, it bother me, but the three women, who had died, in quick succession, in the region where I live, in their sixties and above, that struck home.

Today, my heart felt odd, I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t explain it, and tried to think of other things, today was a busy day for me, had lots of things I had to do on my, ‘to do list,’ I know I’d just had brunch all day, and would be eating at about 530pm. I had enjoyed my cheese and tomato on toast, and was looking forward to my prawns that I had bought yesterday reduced, for my , which I would have with pineapples, spinach and tomatoes .

I was about to drive the eight miles to my brother’s house, with my heart still feeling odd, I wasn’t looking forward to the journey, and if I was honest, I was afraid. I put Premier Christian Radio on, to cheer my spirits, but it didn’t really help.

At my brother’s house, I would be looking after my Mum there, for six days, she has dementia, it would just be me and her in the house all that time, I was nervous what would happen if something was to happen to me? My Mum wouldn’t know how to use my phone to get help.

As I started to drive, my stress level was through the roof. I hadn’t told anyone my fear, not my husband when I kissed him goodbye, nor my kids.

I was trying to concentrate on the busy rush hour traffic, and ignore my fluttering heart. I thought about when I was young and how I felt when I had seen those awful pictures and how I thought I might have what I saw, I think it was all the things that had happened recently, with death all around, and me been sensitive, too sensitive, maybe. But still the feeling didn’t leave me.

I know my ‘house was in order,’ with my Will, and I know people die at all ages. A friend had put on Facebook, that it was “Twenty-five years today, my Mum died,” I thought that’s a long time to be without your Mum, and she’s younger than I.

I decided to gave myself a good talking to, but it wasn’t out loud, that I didn’t need to be afraid, of you know what, in reality it happens, that I needed to practice what I preach. I would be OK, then I suddenly felt Peace. The fluttering that I had felt all day, stopped. I was OK.

Then I heard the presenter, on Premier Christian Radio, quoted from the Bible and he said, “Do not fear.”

“Peace, I leave with you. Let not your hearts be troubled. Do not fear.” John chapter 14.