'Parcel for you..' Part 3

 

‘Well, he’s done a good job of the lawn. I think you need to be careful not to confuse him, he's fresh out of the box, Vanessa. Play around with the basics first, the instruction manual’s not that complicated and there are loads of videos out there. I’d better get going and get back to work or my boss will be wondering what’s happened.’

 

Vanessa shot up out of her seat and attempted to block her friend’s exit. ‘Really? Why don’t you say you’ve got one of your migraines? It’s such a nice afternoon, we could just watch him cut the lawn again.’

 

‘What for? He’s got unlimited functions. It’s up to you now to go and explore. Take him upstairs to the bedroom and just see what happens,’ said Pat, looking back with a smile as she marched off towards the house. ‘Let me know how you get on and you never know, I might get my own.’

 

Vanessa shook her head firmly. ‘No, no way, I didn’t get him for that, I don’t want to exploit him.’

 

‘You brought him for god’s sake! Exploit him for all he’s worth, get your money’s worth. From what I’ve read, the bedroom functions have proved very successful.’

 

‘No Pat. I’ve got apps for all that, I can get a real human, complete with bad manners, smells and covert STDs. I’m sick of it! And to be honest this is the problem isn’t it. It’s so easy now to connect with people on a physical level. There’s something deeper missing, companionship.’

 

‘Okay, whatever,’ Pat laughed. ‘Well from what I can glean, he will adapt according to whatever it is that you're looking for.’

 

‘Hang on, wait! Do I need to feed him?’

 

Pat hovered with her hand on the handle of the front door. ‘I think it said just to keep him charged for the first week or two then you can introduce food later and he will start developing plasma and start growing cells and all that gubbins. I’ve got to go, it’s almost four o’clock. I’ll check in with you in a few days.’

 

Vanessa watched her friend drive out of sight and slowly shut the front door. The trunk was still lying open in the hallway, she took out the ring, inspected it and placed it on the console. Through the kitchen window she could see him, her husband, still standing vacantly with his arms folded admiring the freshly cut lawn. She sat at the kitchen table, lifted the instruction manual and began to read the first part, stealing herself to be patient and just try to absorb the basics. It stated that she must first give her husband a name. Failure to do so would mean he will continue to respond to the generic name corresponding to his model number which was, Craig.

 

She shuddered, Craig, it was an okay name for a certain niche category of man but a horrible name for a robotic husband. Plus it rhymed with vague, that was not what Vanessa wanted, she’d had a lifetime of vague men; disappearing and reappearing like mist, not committing, keeping their options open, turning up late or not at all. Now she had a programmable man and for the first time ever, she could lock it down.

 

A few of her favourite names floated across her consciousness, Isaac, no, both too old and too modern, it just wasn’t convincing, Chris, too boring, Sean, too fleshy and human. There were lots of names that she liked but now it seemed she couldn’t think of any. She was about to search baby boy’s names on her phone when a bunch of plastic carrier bags caught her eye, the spent cartridges of a recent shopping binge. John, too plain, Lewis, nice, very fancy, a possibility, Mark, a fine name but religious, her mother would like it too much. Now…Spencer, it was a square name, computery and strong yet not quite masculine enough to be threatening. 

 

Now he had an identity and she was busily making notes, a list of everything she desired from her new husband, it was a long list, littered with ‘buts’; ‘confident but vulnerable, fit but not sport obsessed, outgoing but quiet, proud but humble, gentle but rugged, open about his feeling but mysterious, in touch with his feminine side but also very masculine, has his own hobbies but mostly focuses on me, someone who loves me for who I am but challenges me to be who I secretly want to be.’

 

Vanessa was so involved with her list of criteria that she lost track of time, the sun began to set and the next thing she knew, there was a startling tap on the window. She jumped in her seat, her eyes fixed upon the very sad face pressed against the glass. ‘Spencer!’ she said, ‘Oh my lord, I’m so sorry,’ she opened the door, grabbed his hand and led him inside.

 

‘You look nice,’ he said, twisting his head as his soft mouth broke into a faint smile.

 

‘No I don’t,’ she said, glancing at her reflection in the kitchen window, ‘I look bloody awful. Sit down,’ she gestured and Spencer painfully slowly began to bend his legs and lower himself down but Vanessa was impatient and she pushed him down hard from the shoulders. There was a faint clicking sound.

 

‘Ow, you’re hurting me, you are not respecting me. Your demands are breaking me.’

 

Vanessa gasped and lifted her hands to her mouth. ‘I am so sorry,’ she said. ‘Are you okay?’

 

Spencer shrugged, ‘I don’t know yet. You need to learn boundaries.’

 

As he said this a red light began to glow from his Adam’s Apple. Vanessa stood up and leant across him, she placed her hand on his shoulder and looked at his face very closely, her cheek brushed against his and she was surprised at how real he felt. He let out a small cough and pulled away as if uncomfortable. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

 

‘Don’t say sorry again. Women are always saying sorry.’

 

‘Oh, well I’m sorry!’ 

 

She was annoyed now, both at her own stupid response and to this robot who was already criticising women generally. The red light on his neck was alarming so she leafed through to the troubleshooting page in the back of the manual. ‘Oh, you're almost out of charge!’ 

 

The charger was at the bottom of the trunk, a heavy duty USB cable, together with a pair of paisley pyjamas and a certificate with a serial number which was also a two year guarantee. ‘Don’t worry, I’m coming,’ she shouted, grasping the cable but then she stopped suddenly while the thought occurred to her that she might consider just letting him die. Taking a deep breath, she leant on the wall and a sadness came over her. Spencer had already generated a few early strings of attachment inside of her, he wasn’t like a computer, he had two eyes and a voice, something which felt very much like human skin.

 

She was just about to start the process of connecting his charger when her phone rang, it was her mother, their usual Wednesday evening call. ‘Oh, hi mum. Are you okay?’

 

‘Yes darling. How has your week been so far?’

 

‘Oh you know, just the usual…’ They continued with weak, meaningless conversation, covering the weather, neighbourhood gossip, minor health gripes etc until Spencer let out a couple of loud sighs and the red  light on his Adam’s Apple changed from constant to flashing.

 

‘Whatever’s that noise. Have you got company, Vanessa?’

 

‘No..yes, it’s just my new gardener.’

 

‘Oh. I didn’t know you had a gardener. Is he any good, they always let me down. Is he one of the ones I’ve tried. What’s his name?’

 

‘Spencer, mum. His name’s Spencer.’

 

‘Oh, is he young? I always seem to get the old codgers. I bet he’s expensive with a name like Spencer.’

 

‘Yes, well, they all are these days aren’t they.’

 

‘It’s awfully late for a gardener, crikey Vanessa, it’s almost pitch black!’

 

‘He’s just…he just needed a recharge, he stayed for a bit, to connect his cable.’

 

‘Oh, I understand dear. I’d better leave you to it then. I’ll ring you later in the week.’