Parcel for you...Part 7
By Jane Hyphen
- 870 reads
In the days that followed, Vanessa resolved to keep an open mind about her new spouse, a healthier mindset, free of jealousy and unrealistic expectations. She vowed to treat him, not quite as a human male, but as a hybrid, somewhere between man, robot, pet and appliance; three of those things she had a proven history of loving. There had been a couple of men and some very enchanting cats, her wonderful dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner she had never stopped being in love with. The robot part was unchartered territory.
Spencer’s presence in her house was beginning to make her feel strangely guilty. It was the fact that he was still a big secret. There had been no courtship, no mention of him to her social circle, no gradual introduction into her life, he had simply arrived one day in a box and now he lived with her. The secret was starting to swell inside her.
She hadn’t told her mother, June, she was unlikely to understand the concept, she was bound to alter her already annoying voice to a shriek at the preposterousness of it. Vanessa’s sister would simply mock her and make her feel like a loser, her daughter Annie would be surprised but perhaps, being young, she would accept it but there was a risk it would cause extended cringe. Most of the things Vanessa did for herself made her daughter cringe. Her colleagues didn’t need to know, not yet, Vanessa worked from home, marking exam papers and rarely socialising with any of them but her family would surely find out, sooner rather than later.
New users were encouraged to take their robotic spouses out regularly in order to widen their experiences and make them part of society. Holidays abroad were not yet advised. There was still some dispute among airlines about whether they should be stored in the hold or have their own seat although it was widely acknowledged that their capacity for foreign languages could make trips far easier.
After some anxious deliberations, Vanessa decided that a supermarket would be a good place to take Spencer out on his first trip. If something was to go wrong, the car park was just seconds away and she could escort him into her vehicle and quickly head home. Her local Tesco was open late, they could go at a time when she was unlikely to meet anyone she knew. They had a clothing section, she could kit him out, some basics from Florence and Fred weren’t going to break the bank and in her opinion they were quite stylish.
‘Come on Spencer, we’re going out,’ she said, checking his settings to make sure everything was in normal or helpful mode. The depressed man setting, although passive, was not suitable for outside of the home, he would be more likely to draw attention, dragging his feet and emitting heavy sighs in the cereal aisle.
He followed her to the car and without hesitation went right round to the driver's door and stood closely behind her. ‘Erm sorry, you’ll need to get in the other door,’ Vanessa said, gently pulling his arm back to the other side of the car.
‘I can drive,’ he said, holding out his hands as if puzzled.
Can he? thought Vanessa. She didn’t remember anything about this in the manual and was doubtful whether it was even legal. ‘Okay, that’s good but I’ll drive us today,’ she said, nodding. ‘We’re only going to the supermarket and I would like it very much if you could help me once we get there.’
Spencer got into the passenger seat, put on his seatbelt quite automatically then turned and stared at her. ‘I love you,’ he said, ‘and I love this.’
‘What?’
‘This!’ he said, looking around, ‘This car, your house, your hair, the supermarket.’
Vanessa couldn’t think of a suitable response, she found herself making a noise which was something between a laugh and a gasp and began driving, hoping that he didn’t try to touch any of the controls.
Fortunately the store was quiet. He stood closely at her side as she collected a trolley but once inside, he immediately wrestled it from her. ‘I’ll push,’ he said smiling.
As they walked up and down, Vanessa noticed that she was experiencing two parallel emotions. There was a feeling of pride with her new, fit husband at her side, she enjoyed the sensation of people seeing them together, just as long as they were six or more meters away. The feeling was opposite when people came too close, she felt uneasy. One woman had stopped just next to them to peer at the Greek yoghurt and Spencer caught her eye, she did a double take and for a few seconds looked very puzzled, glancing at Vanessa, frowning then walking away but looking back a few times.
In the clothing section she hid him for a while, holding up garments next to him. She concluded that he was a medium and she decided to stick mostly to navy blue to make him as normal as possible after all there wasn’t a man in the world that didn’t suit navy blue. It was while she was scooping up the navy sweatshirts and jeans that she turned around and realised that Spencer was no longer at her side. In fact he was nowhere to be seen. A sense of panic rose inside her, she’d felt it before, two decades ago when she lost Annie at the petting zoo, she became aware of the sound of her own heart thumping.
Abandoning the trolley she began pushing racks of clothing aside, searching everywhere for Spencer, she called his name, quietly at first then shouting. An assistant clocked her panic stricken face and asked if she was okay and whether she had lost a child.
‘No, it’s just my husband,’ she said, without making eye contact.
‘Oh, I can’t help with that,’ the assistant laughed. ‘Probably in the gadget section.’
The gadget section, thought Vanessa, yes there was a gadget section just next door, on the other side of the clothing. She hurried, feeling sick now and wondering what the correct procedure would be for reporting a lost robotic husband but she needn’t have worried because the assistant’s opinion had been accurate. There he was, transfixed by a very large television which was displaying an underwater scene, a shark swimming in slow motion on an ultra high definition screen.
‘Spencer! Come here, I thought I’d lost you. We need to pay,’ He didn’t respond, he appeared to be in some sort of trance. Vanessa grabbed his arm, shook it, she was about to lift up his top and change his settings when he turned to her.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘But we need to get that for our home.’
‘Mmm, perhaps next time,’ she said, ‘I'd like you to push the trolley to the till now.’
That’s what he needs, thought Vanessa, he needs constant little prompts to prevent him from going astray. As they loaded their items onto the conveyor belt, Vanessa was confused by some rogue items in the trolley, three large packets of ridged crisps. She held them up. ‘I don’t remember buying these,’ she said.
Spencer looked pleased with himself. ‘They’re three for two,’ he said, ‘I’m saving us money.’
At the other end of the till as they were packing the groceries away she noticed that he became very possessive, competitive even over the items as they came down the slope, grabbing them and shoving them into the bags in no particular order. Vanessa quietly gave up and refrained from interfering. The till operator has not appeared to notice anything out of the ordinary about Spencer and she didn’t want to cause a scene.
Back at the house, his helpful settings appeared to have faded, he disappeared to the daybed and left Vanessa to put the shopping away on her own.
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Comments
'somewhere between man, robot
'somewhere between man, robot, pet and appliance'
low-key comedy done perfectly. Thank you Jane!
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Rebellion?
... I'd blame the programmers, they need to have a word with themselves about their Stepford Husband settings
"‘They’re three for two,’ he said, ‘I’m saving us money.’"
Howled!!
Small typo, Rigid, poss Ridged?
Best
Lxx
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it is a worry, being normal.
it is a worry, being normal. A very human worry.
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Ah...next time I'm in the
Ah...next time I'm in the cereal aisle emitting heavy sighs I will know I am in "depressed man setting." You have created a wonderful character in Spencer, Jane. Looking forward to reading more :)
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