Parcel for You ...Part 12

 

The update went on rather longer than Vanessa had expected. She gave up on watching over him, there was something horrifying about seeing Spencer in suspended animation. His ‘updating state’ appeared very different from his low functioning settings, then he just looked tired or depressed. This was more alarming and completely out of her hands; he looked half finished, as if he should still be in the factory waiting to come to life.

 

She went downstairs and made some dinner, listening the whole time, hoping to hear him coming downstairs, refreshed and updated, whatever that was going to bring but he never appeared. After dinner she went back to the bedroom but Spencer continued to be updating. Vanessa began to wonder if the whole thing was simply another test to see how she would respond. Well, I won’t be tested, she told herself, and resigned to ignore whatever was happening to her husband and go and phone Pat, her friend who had now returned from her holiday in Turkey.

 

‘Oh I’m so glad you’ve rung, you won’t believe it but I was just about to call you, I’ve got so much to tell you but first things first, how’s it going with Wesley?’

 

‘Spencer!’

 

 

‘That’s him. How are things in that department?’

 

Vanessa sighed. ‘Up and down to be honest.’

 

‘Oh, up and down! That sounds interesting, please tell me more..’

 

Vanessa got the distinct impression that Pat wasn’t really interested in anything she’d got to say and was just chomping at the bit to tell her something significant about her holiday. ‘It’s been quite mixed, Pat. Things were going quite well I thought, in that I was getting used to having him around and feeling more relaxed but then my mother popped round unexpectedly and she sort of put a curse on us.’

 

‘Your mother, well that’s to be expected, they always do, mother-in-laws are worse though, hey at least you don’t have that do you. He wasn’t born of a mother, your husband, he’s the brainchild of some boffins somewhere. And at the end of the day, he’s a robot, you can always send him back.’

 

‘But that’s the thing, I don’t think I can. It’s more complicated than that and actually Pat, I've been feeling increasingly worried about what I’ve got myself into…’

 

‘Well I’ve got some news of my own on that front,’ Pat interjected, ‘I’ve got myself into something too, you’ll never guess, I’ve met someone, it’s a real man. I met a real man in Turkey.’

 

‘Really?’ Vanessa felt a bit deflated, outdone but she quickly reminded herself that real men had proved disappointing in the past.

 

‘Yes, can you believe it! He was next to me on the plane, our knees touched and then I just kept bumping into him everywhere. It was fate. He’s from Portsmouth and he sells air conditioning.’

 

Vanessa laughed, ‘Air conditioning?’

 

‘Yes, it’s very well-paid actually, modern homes are all too hot. I know he doesn’t sound all that but he is. He’s never been married so no baggage and he’s different, not my usual type, he likes plane crashes and prog rock.’

 

‘Plane crashes?’

 

‘Yes,’ Pat sounded proud of this detail, ‘he knows everything about them, he’s like an encyclopedia of aeronautical doom. It’s lucky I’m not scared of flying but that’s what we talked about on the flight out and I’d normally have just put on my headphones and ignored him but, I don’t know, there was just something about him. He smelt so nice on the flight and he had one of those expensive leather holdalls and his voice…it’s like a tuning fork. He was going to be a pilot but he’s colour blind, yes, it’s so sad. There’s so much more I want to tell you but you’ll find out when you meet him.’

 

‘Good. That’s good. I’m really pleased for you, Pat.’

 

‘I know, me too! I can’t believe I was going to order a man-made husband like you, in desperation I suppose. I’d literally decided to do it just before my holiday and then this! What was I thinking when there are amazing men like Stu out there, walking among us. He’s flown Concorde you know.’

 

Vanessa swallowed hard. She was about to protest that her husband was real but her response required further thought. Spencer was real, in terms of how he was marketed. She got what she paid for and a lot more. Maybe he was not as real as this Stu but she hadn’t met Stu and her reality was becoming more blurred by the day. She cleared her throat and said, ‘Well, I look forward to meeting him but I must go and check on Spencer, he’s doing an update.’

 

‘Ha, doing an update! Ha ha ha, oh that made me laugh. Doing an update, so was my phone just before I called you, not that it’s improved anything. I’ve just got a different font on my parking App now it seems.’

 

‘Message me about meeting up. I’d love to catch up and meet Stu, he sounds like a very…interesting man.’

 

Vanessa put down the phone and then paused to listen for any sounds from upstairs. The house was silent but she had received an email from Cybermate Worldwide. “Dear Vanessa, your husband has undergone a major update. Great news! Level two is unlocked. Your husband can now browse the internet, prepare an entire meal, care for pets, crack jokes, clean himself and feel empathy. You must allow your husband immediate access to these new opportunities in order to develop these valuable qualities.”

 

‘Charlie hide!’ She said to her cat who stared at her suspiciously then trotted away and left through the catflap.

 

‘Vanessa?’

 

‘Yes, I’m down here in the lounge. Are you alright?’

 

‘Vanessa, my bum feels funny. Have I been asleep? Something’s different here..’

 

Vanessa continued to look down at her phone, ‘No, nothing’s changed here. I think you were having some sort of update so I left you to it.’

 

‘Ah,’ Spencer scratched his head and sat down next to her on the sofa. ‘That makes sense and I remember now about the cartridge. Yes, it’s all coming back to me. You know, I feel like I’ve been out for ages and I feel different.’

 

She noticed that he looked slightly different. His face seemed livelier, there was a glint in his eyes, like he’d had a really long, refreshing slumber. ‘Apparently you’ve got some new features. I need to give you the opportunity to use them..so, you can cook a meal, you can listen to all my problems and give me support, maybe cheer me up with your humour. I could get you a pet..of your own or you can go online and browse the internet.’

 

‘Yes,’ he raised his fist, ‘I want to go online first. This is going to be amazing.’

 

‘Okay. I thought you’d say that. You wait here. I’ve got a spare laptop upstairs. It used to be Annie’s so it’s got all the restrictions on it,’ she glanced at him, ‘to keep you safe online.’

 

‘Safe from what?’

 

‘I don’t know….you might look at the wrong things.’

 

Spencer looked puzzled.