Funrunning (1986)

Blindly running, vacant minds

Oblivious to those running behind.

Oblivious to cheering, jeering spectators.

Sweaty,  red-faced with Dire Straits headbands.

Mile on mile, inside time limits

Personal bests, and best forgottens

Ralgex sprayed , smelling strongly,

Eradicating muscle soreness.

Working hard, playing harder,

Beery breath from last night’s session,

Shallow yuppies rise to the challenge.

Watch them struggle all those miles.

Sisters of blisters form on their soles.

Cellulite wobbles, losing control,

The race it progresses, the training, the time,

Interior mantras , rhythm, and rhyme

The searing pain on every street

Aching joints and blistering feet

They all run on and on and on

The act of jogging’s no longer fun.

Running blindly , sweat drips in their eyes,

Reaching weakly, flail for the prize

Die-cast medal, bin-bag cloaks.

Vanity runners, fit to boak!