Lactobacillus Bulgaricus or Bust!
By Turlough
- 1231 reads
It’s good for aches, it’s good for pains
It invigorates old folks and weans
Sends power surging through the veins
Don’t spill it or you’ll block the drains
In our superstores the yoghurt aisles
Are measured not in feet but miles
The government’s compiled thick files
On how it makes we Bulgars smile
Doctor Grigorov’s bacterial work
Identified its healthy quirks
Would bring long life and other perks
If in our gut its microbes lurk
It fills internal gaps and voids
It sooths those stubborn haemorrhoids
To leave you feeling overjoyed
The Jedi feed it to their droids
It sanitises lungs and spleens
Embarrassing rashes you don’t want seen
And places where the cat has been
Some uses considered quite obscene
We’ve been eating it five thousand years
It sharpens eyes and tongues and spears
Adds a unique tang to homebrewed beers
Ladies dab a bit behind their ears
You’ll only find this in our lands
And perhaps a bit out in Japan’s
For the secret of this precious brand
Countless yen have passed into our hands
You can search our shops with all your might
But you’ll never find a Müller Light
All that flavoured stuff’s polluted shite
If it’s not Lactobacillus Bulgaricus it’s just not right
Image:
My breakfast… Bulgarian yoghurt topped with pine honey. Both locally produced, healthy and moreish.
- Log in to post comments
Comments
You enjoy writing poetry raps
You enjoy writing poetry raps as much as you enjoy your yoghurt, Bulgarian! Sounds strong! Rhiannon
- Log in to post comments
Sounds like a very healthy
Sounds like a very healthy way to start the day Turlough. I'd never heard of this friendly Lactobacillus Bulgaricus before, it's certainly quite a mouthful...if you'll pardon the pun.
Great use of the I P. and you've taught me something I didn't know, as I had to go and look it up.
Jenny.
- Log in to post comments
Only you could write so much
Only you could write so much about yoghurt and even make a claim that your adopted country makes something better than anywhere else.
I'm a big fan of yoghurt but now due to my restricted low fat dairy free diet, I have to settle for a plant based alternative, despite breaking the rule one day last week by treating myself to a Turkish snack of poached eggs in garlic yoghurt...I'd just come from a health shop too. Still alive. Just.
- Log in to post comments
A very entertaining IP
A very entertaining IP response, thank you. Even though I dislike yoghourt with a vengeance, I'm glad to hear of this one's miracle properties!
- Log in to post comments
not sure I'd like the taste,
not sure I'd like the taste, but I like the sound of it, here.
- Log in to post comments
There are so many comments
There are so many comments perhaps my effort is repeated, but apparanly this yougurt and the clean fresh mountain air prolongs your liefspan greatly, often people live to 110 years and longer.
Cheers! Tom
- Log in to post comments
"In our superstores the
"In our superstores the yoghurt aisles
Are measured not in feet but miles"
I had not thought about that. I guess like olive oil in Greece? Wonder what we have miles of? Crisps? Breakfast cereals?
Didn't know whether to mention it, (whispers)but there is a vegan yoghurt with L Bulgaricus, your poems are much more life enhancing and don't cost £2.10 :0)
- Log in to post comments
She does? Wow, that's
She does? Wow, that's interesting! Kudos :0) I nearly tried, but then reckoned the vegan milk is so expensive anyway, probably not worth risking wasting it all if it didn't work. I get the yoghurt when it's reduced as a treat. Does Priyatelkata have a proper yoghurt machine?
- Log in to post comments
Thankyou for your reply :0) I
Thankyou for your reply :0) I wish she would do diary entries too, but my French is not so good. She is much more brave in the kitchen than I am!
- Log in to post comments
"..And places where the cat
"..And places where the cat has been
Some uses considered quite obscene..."
That line made me laugh.
Poor old Muller Lite lambasted like that. Still...your local alternative does sound yummy. A rapping, rhythmic, humourous invective adroitly done, Turlough!
[Mighty Leeds big 4-3 win at Boro t'other night. Squeaky bum time at the top of the Championship]
- Log in to post comments