Parcel for You..Part 33

 

‘It’s common in humans,’ said Lorenzo flippantly, ‘but, hey, you must meet my husband, he’s called Steve,’ he said, holding out his hand towards a bald man who had been standing to the side checking his phone with raised eyebrows while flashing an expensive looking watch and bracelet. 

 

Steve eventually looked up and walked over, smiling warmly, he held out his sweaty hand for Vanessa who shook it reluctantly. ‘Nice to meet you. I’m Vanessa and this is my,’ she hesitated and with an inexplicably sharp intake of breath continued, ‘husband, Spencer.’

 

‘Well it’s great to meet another one like me in this exclusive club,’ he lowered his voice, ‘I knew I’d never meet anyone as good looking as Lorenzo in real life and if even if I did, they’d have smells and bad habits, they always do don’t they!’ Steve laughed, revealing his unnaturally white teeth.

 

‘Yes,’ Vanessa laughed nervously.

 

‘The last guy I dated was always pumping iron in my home gym, he looked great but he’d come into the lounge all sweaty and sit on the sofa with his protein drink, I couldn’t stand it,’ he grimaced, ‘but Lorenzo has autobuff installed so he doesn’t have to work out, I can tweak his settings to make him more muscular and he always smells divine,’ he looked wistfully over at his husband, ‘sometimes I think it’s too good to be true, you know?’

 

‘He is a very handsome man,’ Vanessa said, her eyes lingering over Lorenzo’s attractive features.

 

 

‘I’ve been very successful in life, in business..well most things actually but I was never successful in love, not really, not if I was being true to myself,’ he patted himself on the chest, ‘until I heard about cybermates and this new world opens up doesn’t it. You get everything you want and more and Lorenzo is truly what I deserve, if I’m being true to myself,’ he laughed and gave a smug nod of his shiny head.

 

‘Yes, oh yes, it’s been very good,’ Vanessa agreed. ‘I’m very happy with mine.’

 

‘But I suspect your model, Spencer I should say, might be different to my own. If you don’t mind me asking, did you get him on the Robert Dyas offer?’

 

‘Yes, yes I…..think I did,’ Vanessa frowned and placed her finger up to her lip, briefly feigning a memory issue because admitting to buying a husband from Robert Dyas seemed so tacky that she wanted to place an imaginary buffer between herself and the truth. She feigned a hazy recollection when in fact her memory was quite clear.

 

‘You did, Mum, I remember,’ Anne interjected.

 

Steve peered at her. ‘Robert Dyas yes. I remember there was some issue with a batch of them and they were due to be recalled but then they decided to release them to T K Maxx but they refused them, something to do with American law, so I think Robert Dyas agreed to sell them cheap.’

 

‘He wasn’t that cheap!’

 

‘I know, I know Love but cheaper than the going rate is my guess.’

 

Annie looked concerned. ‘What do you mean by some issue, why were they recalled?’

 

Steve closed his eyes and shook his head as if to reassure them both. ‘Well they weren’t in the end. It was an issue that turned out to be a non issue, more about style than substance, more about aesthetics than function and nothing whatsoever to worry about.’

 

‘You seem to be very clued up about everything,’ said Vanessa.

 

‘Well as a matter of fact I am,’ Steve said proudly, ‘I went straight to the source at Cybermates Direct, in fact I was on a waiting list while Lorenzo was still in production. I had input in how he looked and the various operations and functions, I spent a lot of time perfecting his voice for example. A man’s voice is very important. I’m a design consultant so all that stuff comes naturally to me.’

 

Vanessa noticed that Spencer and Lorenzo had drifted away from them and were chattering among themselves now. She began to feel uncomfortable, suspicious even about them sharing information. She wanted to be part of their conversation, not flashy Steve. She shuffled away from him and grabbed hold of Spencer’s arm.

 

‘Look at you two!’ Lorenzo said, ‘Like a married couple!’

 

‘That’s because we are,’ said Spencer.

 

Lorenzo was a few inches taller than Spencer with black hair, a sharply defined beard, piercing blue eyes and a slightly more chiselled face. ‘Hey Steve, we could go on a double date, for dinner somewhere.’

 

‘Spencer doesn’t really eat yet,’ said Vanessa, ‘it would be awkward, he can only have a breadstick.’

 

‘You should get that changed,’ said Steve, ‘it’s just the cartridges that’s all. It sounds like a faff but honestly, Lorenzo doesn't mind having his changed and we eat out very often. We go to La Rendezvous or The Peking Palace, we go all over. I’ve booked The Savoy Riverside for my fiftieth in November. I’m having a little get together, you should come!’

 

‘I’ll come,’ said Annie.

 

Spencer stood up on his toes and clasped his hands together. ‘I would love to come,’ he said.

 

‘You can’t wear that hat though!’ said Steve. ‘Honestly it’s ghastly.’

 

‘We got it for him so that he would fit in,’ said Annie, ‘that’s the vibe here isn’t it.’

 

‘What, fungus?’ Steve laughed, ‘I don’t know, Love, we’re only here because my sister plays the Sitar, did you see her? She's in Flying Carpet, the opening act for the festival and I like Lorenzo to experience a diverse range of events so that he can assimilate with different types of humans.

 

The festival was emptying out now, all live music had ceased. The Hominids of Quasar were nowhere to be seen and Pat had disappeared with them. Vanessa suddenly felt a pressing need to go home.

 

‘We’re going to drive home now,’ she said, ‘I suspect there’s a queue to leave the car park.’

 

‘Oh we’re parked in the VIP area by the big house but we’ll be leaving soon too. I expect you two have exchanged details,’ he glanced over at Lorenzo and Spencer who smiled at each other, ‘We’ll be in touch and do something very soon, I promise.’

 

They began to walk back to the parking area. ‘I didn’t like that Steve,’ Annie whispered to her mother who shushed her because she didn’t want Spencer to hear.

 

 

Spencer had a spring in his step. He’d removed his hat and was carrying it. ‘I feel different having met one like me,’ he said.

 

Annie smiled. ‘Good. He is very good looking. Do you agree Mum, Lorenzo?’

 

‘Yes,’ Vanessa nodded, ‘he looks like a prince.’

 

‘Steve takes him all over the place, and you should see their house, Lorenzo showed me pictures, and their car is a supercar. It’s like a dream life, he’s living.’

 

They all got into Vanessa’s very ordinary vehicle. She felt deflated at the speed at which material comparisons had seeped into her robotic husband’s consciousness and all of a sudden she didn’t feel good enough for him.