Parcel for You...Part 37
By Jane Hyphen
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‘I don’t know yet. I think I need help though. It’s not something I can fix myself using my own controls.’
Vanessa inhaled and then sighed. She felt the energy drain from her body. It had been too good to be true, a nice but not really all that nice hotel stay, just one night away from it all except now it all had followed her there. ‘Okay, let’s take off your jacket and top and have a look.’
Together they pulled off Spencer’s clothing but there wasn’t really much to see. His flesh looked the same, there were no dents or slashes, it was just that the top of his arm was hanging from the shoulder at an odd angle and appeared sort of pushed down. He could still move his fingers slightly but other than that it was non functioning.
‘Maybe I can manipulate it back in.’
‘I’m not a human, Vanessa and even if I was, you’re not a nurse.’
‘That’s true,’ Vanessa sat down on the bed next to him. Her heart sank at the thought of contacting the manufacturer. Briefly it occurred to her that Spencer could just carry on with his arm hanging, at least for now but then she thought about how strange it looked. Maybe she could put it in a sling using her scarf. ‘So…does it feel different?’
‘I can sense that the messages my CPU sends to my arm are interrupted, they’re not getting through. It’s not painful but it does feel unusual. I’m not functioning at my best.’
‘Are you scared?’
‘No. I trust you to fix me, Vanessa, you’re my wife, I know you’ll take care of me. I’m very rarely scared of anything although the first time your mother came round, there was something about her which triggered an urge to hide.’
‘I’m actually scared…about this,’ Vanessa wasn’t really scared, she was more angry but didn’t want to say. ‘It never occurred to me that you could just break like this and I didn’t bring your instruction manual.’ She sat staring at the red carpet, knowing deep down that there was only one thing for it and that was to call the Cybermates Worldwide helpline but she felt so disappointed. This was supposed to be a nice evening.
‘I could contact Lorenzo, he might have experienced something similar.’
‘No! Don’t do that, this is our holiday. We’ll sort it together.’
Reluctantly, she phoned the helpline. There was a queue, ‘Cybermates Worldwide are currently experiencing unusually high call volumes. You are in a queue and your call will be answered as soon as one of our call centre technicians becomes available. Your call is valuable to us, please hold the line.’
She noticed the tray of tea and coffee on the desk, together with a mini kettle and sachets of hot chocolate and Welsh cakes. ‘I don’t suppose you can boil a kettle?’
‘I could try.’
‘No,’ she shook her head, ‘don’t, it’s not fair of me to ask. Just pass me those Welsh cakes.’
‘I thought we were having dinner in the restaurant? I mean I was just going to have half a bread roll but I wanted the experience of it and you know I like watching you eat.’
‘I don’t know if that will be possible now Spencer, you don’t look quite right. We need to get this sorted.’ Vanessa said as she took a bite of Welsh cake.
‘Hello, you’re speaking to Larry from Cybermates Worldwide, how may we assist you today? Hello…hello?’
‘Hello,’ she swallowed a large lump which was very dry and stuck in her throat. ‘I’ve got a problem. My husband’s arm seems to have come out of the socket.’
‘Oh, okay Madam. Are you a member of our Cyber Premium Club?’
‘No, what’s that?’
‘It’s an upgrade with a monthly subscription. We recommend it to all our customers, you get premium upgrades, fast track troubleshooting and various add-ons and features.’
‘No, I don’t think I want that, thank you but I need to get him fixed, his arm is hanging and it doesn’t look right. I’m quite worried actually. He’s gone very pale.’ He hadn’t, Vanessa was imagining it.
‘Have I?’ Spencer mouthed and stood up to check his reflection in the mirror.
‘Can I have his serial number please?’
She peered over at his back which was still exposed since they hadn’t put his clothes back on, and read out the number slowly. ‘Will you send somebody over? We’re in a hotel at the moment so don’t come to my home address.’
‘I’m afraid we won’t be able to send anybody out today because it’s out of hours now and the out of hours service is only extended to our Cyber Premium Club members. It’s going to be either tomorrow or the next day.’
Vanessa made a sort of growling noise. ‘We can’t wait that long, it’s my birthday tomorrow.’
‘I suggest you ring us again in the morning and they can log it with the field engineers but they are quite busy at the moment. Like I said, we could do it this evening but only if you sign up with Cyber Premium Club.’
‘How much is it?’
The tone of Larry’s voice changed from bored and slow to animated and keen to help. ‘It’s forty pounds a month for the first two months and then it increases to sixty five but that’s when all the benefits kick in. To be honest most of our customers have signed up to it because it means you get the maximum benefits from your spouse or partner.’
Vanessa glanced across at Spencer who was seated awkwardly with his arm hanging. It occurred to her how prosthetic it looked. The truth was he was a prosthetic, the whole of him and for some strange reason the term, ‘prosthetic geezer’ jumped into her mind, ‘good god, I’m married to a prosthetic geezer,’ she muttered.
‘Pardon?’
‘Nothing, I’ll sign up, for now at least. I need somebody to come out and fix him tonight.’
‘Okay, we can do that, I’ll set you up now as an emergency call-out. I’ll also need to set up a direct debit for payment. So it’s his arm that’s come out of socket and can I just ask how it happened?’
‘Yes, he fell between two beds and got stuck. I went to pull him out and that’s when it popped out of place.’
‘So..you were pulling his arm when it happened?’
‘Well…yes I suppose so but I was just helping him out because he was properly stuck.’
‘Okay, well the engineer might ask you some questions when they come. It could be anytime between now and midnight but they will come tonight because that's part of the Cyber Premium Club guarantee.’
Reluctantly Vanessa handed over her bank details and then looked out of the window. It was getting dark now and starting to rain. She placed the duvet around Spencer’s shoulders and ordered room service.
‘Can we watch television?’
‘Yes,’ Vanessa handed him the remote control. ‘We’d better keep the beds apart in case you fall into the crevice again.’
‘But there’s only one duvet.’
‘I know. I’ll have to have that when we go to sleep because you don’t feel the cold do you.’
‘I wonder what the engineer will be like,’ Spencer seemed excited.
‘Don’t make a habit of this. I need you to be in one piece, fully functioning.’
‘I love this, watching television in a new place, other than our home.’
‘I can think of things I’d rather be doing, especially on my birthday.’
‘It’s not until tomorrow, I’ll be fixed by then..but what did you mean by prosthetic geezer?’
Vanessa laughed. ‘It’s just another way of saying a man, a normal man and you are sort of prosthetic which by the way is a good thing, it means it’s easy to fix you when you break. Humans aren’t so fortunate.’ They were interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. ‘Oh god that made me jump. It’s just the food.’ Vanessa opened the door to see the receptionist who greeted them on arrival, standing with a tray containing burger and chips and a gin and tonic.
‘Room service,’ she said looking confused as she spotted a topless Spencer with the duvet over his shoulders.
‘Oh thank you so much,’ said Vanessa taking the tray, ‘Also…just to let you know, we’re expecting a visitor between now and midnight. He’ll need to be shown to our room, he’s got my name.’
The receptionist frowned. ‘You can’t have other people come up to the rooms. Your room is booked just for you and your husband.’
‘It’s not like that,’ Vanessa shook her head as she placed the tray down on the desk, ‘he’s here to help my husband with his medical condition.’
‘You’re welcome to meet him in the lobby but we don’t usually let third parties come up to the rooms. We’re not that sort of establishment.’
Vanessa was annoyed now. ‘Well my husband has a very serious medical problem and a doctor will be arriving between now and midnight to deliver some personalised treatment, it shouldn’t take long and then he’ll be gone.’
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Comments
seems believeable. Especially
seems believeable. Especially the hard sell. I wonder if the party is over with Spencer. She's realised he's em, not human.
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Poor Vanessa's suffering one
Poor Vanessa's suffering one trial after another. What a rip off forcing Vanessa to sign up with Cyber Premium Club. Like Jack said, this is quite believable and scary, especially as Vanessa is so fond of Spencer and has so much invested in him.
Yoir story's coming along great Jane. Keep going.
Jenny.
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currently experiencing
currently experiencing unusually high call volumes - they ALWAYS say that don't they? Poor Vanessa. I hope things improve for her birthday - thanks for this new part - you're managing to keep the writing quality at the same high level which isn't always the case - well done!
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Just so long as it's not
Just so long as it's not direct debit, as then they can put it up without telling. And she might find it really hard to unsubscribe. (Or, maybe she could ask for Spencer to get really brainy as an update and he could unsubscribe for her? Would he consider that a conflict of interest?) You describe Vanessa's feelings really well, of hope for her Birthday unravelling, the contrast with Spencer being chirpy at watching telly in a different room
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I woould worry about signing
I'd worry about signing on for that premium package but...I did wonder if this mishap was the big argument Spencer was setting up? Could he be bluffing; is he able to disconnect his arm and reconnect it at will? Maybe he's testing Vanessa? I'm probably way off with that idea...but where ever this story goes...keep going with it. I'm still hooked and can't wait for the next installment.
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All caught up again.
All caught up again.
Yes, the "experiencing high volumes...we value your call.." is spot on! I've had that a few times just recently.
That's a comic dilemma neatly chiselled. I sense a debate around an invalid claim coming from the discussion about Spencer's arm being held.
The observational humour keeps the wheels greased and makes the whole thing so readable and accessible.
Looking forward to the next instalment!
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