KYLIE FANTASY

My relationship with Gavin had become stale. We'd only been seeing each other for three weeks - but I told myself that bread gets stale in less time.

So I asked Gavin (rather foolishly), what we could do to spice things up.

His eyes lit up. "What, like what would my ideal fantasy be?"

"Yes Gavin."

His mouth started to dribble. "What, like if I could have anyone, who would I have?"

That wasn't quite what I meant. "Actually Gavin, I-"

"Kylie. I absolutely love Kylie. She would be my ultimate fantasy."

I tried to laugh. "I'm sure many men would agree with you, Gav' - but there you go."

"Complete with golden hot-pants - cor, that would be wild."

Gavin wasn't listening to me. He wasn't even looking at me.

"Mind you," he continued, "I like her more now than what I did in my teens."

"You sure you're not still stuck in your teens?"

Gavin was in a daze. "It just has to be Kylie."

So that was that. Kylie he wanted, Kylie he was gonna get.

"I don't want you dressed up as Kylie," he told me, "I want Kylie."

Cheeky git.

The excitement of thinking about his fantasy seemed to stay with him for a while. Though how Gavin having Kylie would spice things up for our own relationship was a mystery to me.

It was a couple of nights later.

"I've brought Kylie round," I said to Gavin.

His mouth dropped. "You're winding me up."

"She's just outside the door," I said. "Come in Kylie!"

The door opened, Kylie walked in.

Gavin's eyes went straight to the golden hot-pants, then to her bulging thighs. He looked at her straight auburn hair.

"Who the hell is this?" frowned Gavin.

"Gavin!" I laughed, "Where are your manners? This is Kylie. With hot-pants, too."

Gavin tutted. "I wanted Kylie Minogue. Not Kylie unknown."

"Really?" I laughed, "Well, you weren't specific about which Kylie."

Gavin smirked and slapped himself in the forehead. Which was nice, as it meant I didn't have to do it.

"Unbelievable," Gavin half-laughed.

"And for my fantasy," I said to Gavin, "I'd like Marc Almond."

Gavin huffed, "Isn't he gay?"

"Mmm," I nodded. "And some fantasies will only ever remain as such."

Around 2002