A boy called Michael Jackson

By mcmanaman

Sun, 14 Mar 2010
  • 1229 reads
2 comments
 

I used to play chess with a boy called Michael Jackson
he wasn't very good at chess
but that was the least of his problems.

I still think about little Michael Jackson
that it must be so hard not to be able to answer the most straight forward question.
'What's your name?'
'Michael Jackson.'

Imagine the quips.
Especially now.
'I thought you were dead!'

Even making the most basic phone call
calling up BT or HSBC
when they say 'what's your name?'
and you say 'Michael Jackson.'
and there's a pause and you say
Yes it is the same as the singer.
Yes it can be a bit annoying.
No, you're not the first person to say it.
No I don't know what my mum and dad were thinking.
I guess they just never listened to Thriller
or Want you Back
I guess my dad was just too busy
working fifty hours a week as a neurosurgeon
and my mum was too busy looking after her brother
who has Down's Syndrome
to be listening to disco.

It must be so hard for little Michael Jackson
getting into a nightclub
when the bouncer checks his ID
and calls over his mate and says
'this one's called Michael Jackson.'

And going through customs
little Michael Jackson will be stopped
and asked 'Can you do the moonwalk?'
and he'll say 'No, I'm just on holiday with my wife
and they'll say 'Lisa Marie Pressley?'
and he'll say no, she's called Anne. Anne Jackson.
Try making a joke out of that.

It's a bit like people who's surname is Smyth
with a y
and whenever they say their name they have to say
... it's Smyth but with a y
and then they see it written down and it's spelt Smith with an I
and they have to correct the girl on reception and say
it's nothing really, but it's spelt with a y
and you must think Why is life this complicated?
I'm just trying to say my own name.

And there must be thousands of people
who all have to go through the same tedious repetition
people called David Camerons
James Bond
Harry Potter
Julia Roberts
Steve Davis
Mark Thatcher
Katie Price
Fred West

and little Michael Jackson
who says 'No, I'm not the singer
I just want a game of chess.'

Certificate U
Poem
Nasty Little Collection
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by tcook on
I used to know a guy called James Hunt. He was a terrible driver and had failed his test numerous times. He also still lived at home at the age of 25. Whilst his parents were away he had a party, got off with a girl and, to impress her, offered to drive her home in his Dad's flash motor. He crashed on the way back - into the steps of Leicester's Charles St. Police Station. He was over the limit, hadn't passed his test, therefore uninsured etc. You can imagine the reaction when he insisted that his name was James Hunt. He spent a long time in nick until they believed him.

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
When I was at secondary school we were having an assembley one day when the teacher announced an achievement by a girl in a lower year. Lisa Simpson. The whole school suddenly burst out with the theme tune to the Simpsons, which even the teachers giggled at, and the poor girl had to get up infront of the lot of us! I have also known a Zoe Slater (character once in EastEnders), a Chris Tate (character once in Emmerdale) and my old geography teacher once bragged to the class that he'd dated a Pamela Anderson. I, on the other hand, have a name famous in no way at all and thank my lucky stars! Great idea, got me thinking about Miss Simpson and how hard it's got to have been for her over the years too, though I doubt it will have been anywhere near as bad as your poor friend Mr Jackson! The 'being stopped at customs to say can you do the moonwalk' bit is so funny to picture and probably has happened to him on many occassions! Rachel xx