Speech Speech

Oh, it's here already -
what do I do? Jake and Jessie
about to arrive, how did I get
ambushed into this - my worst nightmare?
Upon me, now - crowding, like
blood-hungry lions at meal-time.

This formal a attire is killing me,
I much prefer my t-shirt and jeans,
And now my palms are sweating and red
As if I have been playing tennis all day.
'Oh, no - why me?' I say out loud,
realizing I'm no longer alone.

I hate places with more than two in a room
Never mind doing this small favor
He said, ye right, he was always the
Trickster and joker in our family,
But this time he excelled his self.

Well here goes, I;m in a penguin suit,
With sweaty palms, a 20 year old spotty
Face, who forgot too put on underwear
In the rush, but apart from that I'm
OK,come on Glenn you can do this,
Just because it's your first time,like
It was last week with Jessie, that
Was the same, worrying not just
Because I never done It before or
That an audience was waiting
For the young stud she thought,
Too perform.Yet it was more to do with the
Fact if my brother ever found out,
He would knock me out cold
All over this floor.

But I did a good job there,
If I say so my self,
So if I pretend I'm enjoying
this like back then,
I could be out of here fast
Back on my own with a bottle
of stout.

Then when I finally stop
thinking too myself
I realize it was quite
For that time of night.
Then I saw the mike
Hadn't been turned off
From when the sound guys
Tested for the toasts.

So I have all the guests
Looking horrified at me,
Poor Jessie looked has if
She wanted too run and hide
After killing me.
Then my brother approaches me
Fast and without emotion,
And says out loud
Carry on little brother
This is funny, don't you
All agree its the best man's
Wedding Speech that's
Ever been written.

Blissfully unaware it was not
My attempt at Witt, not at all
But after a few bottles
of champagne and love in the air
They never realized me and Jessie
Had actually lay on the very spot
They were all dancing on, a week earlier
When we were the last two
Left after I took Jake's place at the
Rehearsal.But he's not been innocent himself
You see, and Jessie wanted revenge
For his night of hidden desires, he
thinks she doesn't know about with
Younger cousin Carla.You could say
Jessie wanted 'a family affair' to
Continue.So of course I was happy to oblige.