Living in an Illusion

How should you begin this? You live in an illusion that never fades. The
same place, person people and time. No it's me. I'm certain that other
people don't notice......yeah I can imagine them being with me. Let's
start with high school; forget about my birth, middle school and pre-K
stories, irrelevant. Rather, after being 'adopted' to another family of
highly inconceivable outcome and living in Manhattan for a good six
years, I'm in a classroom with the least improbable successful students.
My friend give off another rant of his life, his life of how video games
represent the iconic image of Porn. I don't like his poetry, I don't.
His mouth moves like a sloth, tongue twirling in thick saliva and a wild
fascination shines brightly in his eyes. There's no sense in this world.
Wait -- just not anymore. There are so much confusion at school, oh ya
know, choosing a major and stamp yourself with an occupation. I mean,
come on. They don't teach us on getting a job, look for marketable
opportunities, live your life and being smart...blah....blah....blah.

My parents always say, referring to my Aunt specially. "Lazy Pigs! Ya
don't find no jobs and eat/sleep in my roof w/o paying me bills. The
school never taught y'all dat?" Her words made so much sense that at
first I believe I am lazy, stupid, and my school taught me jack shit.
It's true, mostly. Yes sir, we're one of a kind on a planet filled with
error-prone ways that's graciously sponsored by us. So what? People
still living well, they are happy and nothing's wrong. To them, the
world is a beautiful and perfect. They live in paradise, a dream, nothing more.

Even when I was alone, my problems never seems to haunt me and as a kid with no prior thoughts of my life, there was little I can do. Watching
anime to reading books, what am I going to do with my life? Who's
watching over me? God? Great answer, but I'm not insane......yet. To be
honest, I always tried to hide my problem and hope they just disappear.
Pretty pathetic huh? Just like math, how I surprised my parents and
convinced them I can't solve problems. So when all hopes was leeched
away, drained me all of my strength a imminent light glow in the
distance and it brimmed brighter. "Is it you Jesus? Have my calling
finally been answered after all these years of agony? It's not too late,
you can still help me on getting out of this lif--" My eyes jerked
violently opened as the teacher breathed heavily down my neck. "I'm
afraid you're gonna fail this class, we'll have our final exam right now."

After graduation, we chose our path and begin my adventure of the
college experience, oh the blessings of agony. Can you blame them? The
staff members wanted us, invoked us, encouraged us and like a family
supported us. It's a salute to the Academy, that shaped our path and
seizes our future. The United States Flag whipped wildly at the surface
of the wind, marked riflemen performed their drill and I stood bleakly
on the cross-section. The high lieutenant trodded toward me and his powerful arm reached out. "Come here my son." I snatched his hand and
squeezed. His face defiled with a smirk and his tongue slithered
out."Hehehehehehehe." My eyes sharpened, muscle tensed in reflexes and his eyes gleamed brightly. Veins popping, slithering along my arm and put
his head next my ear: "I think you need a second consideration." He
walked away. "Stop! Don't move." I aimed my pistol and ready to press
the trigger. He stood there unfazed, his head turned with a brutally
fierce chilling stare. A sharp light pierce my mind at the speed of
light and my weapon inadvertently dropped. "Goodbye, Ex-Marine". His
canine teeth formed a grin and open.

There are many bullshit you may deal in life and for one, those comes in
chunks or pieces. It'll be my courtesy to illustrate such shittyness.
You sat there, all Innocent and silent, most family would be helping
you with your social problems. "Most" as in 20%; my Aunt would be
bitching about me all fucking night, as if she got enough problems
dealing with herself and sometimes I sympathize her......sometimes. We
aren't a family, more like a caged house slowly losing your mind-- not
to mention that there's nobody to talk with with-- well nobody. So after
13 years of inhabiting inside this dungeon, I have become the same state I was before and curiosity killed the best of anyone. When you reached to a final boss at this highly intense game and you cried out in relief
when the terrible monster is defeated. In my scenario, the boss is
within yourself, you just want to hang on until: "game over." And you
wonder, what happen to the character after the two words are left on the screen. It's a wondrous subject to ponder upon, don't you agree?

"Education can suck my balls.", one of the students cried out in
profanity I giggled, chuckled and thought back, education isn't simply a
subjective term and useless of giving any human characteristics. Not
many center minded students are able to distinguish between metaphors
and I'm forced to accept their crude humor. It's also apparent that I'm
stuck with people speaking in "broken" English and this made me the best in the English language, but that's retarded and I took this seriously. I'm not an American, which should suggest something on what I
should learn. Life is about problems, one solution to the point of
losing everything. Its not gonna give up, hope won't die, and dreams
can't be forgotten but I may disappear.