Tax Returns 3 I've got the 'Greens'.

Hey did you see what i did there i took a common slang word meaning im as bit depressed and substituted it for a different coliur i know its not particually clever its particually obnoxious but there you go ive done it so if you want to send al jolston round to beat me up ill just have to live with it.
Oh, im sorry I should really have sent you my tax return form and my bank details but i thought of another rather funny incredibly long ramble that i thought youd enjoy. Right, so last morning i went to the pub it was a rather nice place in london but it was called 'the arab boy' i went up to the bar and shouted at the barman, now that's a rather controversil name!! I put a large amount of emphasis on the word 'that' in an incredibly irritating manner the bartender said|: please stop putting emphasis on words in an extremly irritating manner i said i didn't do that, i actually said it in an incredibly irritating matter. ironically i put emphasis on the worde 'incredibly' in an irritating manner which really annoyed the bartender becuase i'd did obeyed his ruling and irritated his at the same time. He said get the **** out of here i asid what did you say you just said asterix asterix asterix asterix that didn't make any sence then he punched me in the face and I woke up in a skip out side i knew that vengence would be the only way to make this chap see my point of view i sauntered into the pub and slamed a glove on the bar and said now my good man look here i want a beer that rymed the man galred at me so i took a carlesberg drank it all in one gulp and left the bar, then he said you didnt pay sory i said heres a quid or ten then i threq them at him and samshed several of his wine bottles he snapped a pool cue over my ghead i said why didmyou do that oh the man said its broken i want to get rid of it you'd better leave before i attemps to strangle you all right i bpowed to him in an irritating manner then the guy broke another pool cue over my head stip doing that i said youre showing me with splinter s anfd those pool cue cost alot of money i paused for a while then asked do you know how to fill in tax return forms? get oput!!! heshreiked then i left.
Next day was a monday so i ot a new job as a beefeater ebcuase i like beef the cvhap in charge saidf beefeaters dfpon't eat beef for a living oph i said then i quit but not before kicking him in the crotch.

I then went on holiday to Macedonia then i made loads of Alexand the Great jokes wihch got me deported then i went to Polands and tolsd them this joke: whats the idfference between a car made in Poland and a car made in the UK? Nothing! They thought this was offenive and beat me up then half way thorugh they realsised that it wasn't offenisve so they appoligised and gave me ownership of a casle in Wroclaw I said wow this is a great apology they thought I was being sracstic so they beat me up and kciked me back to the Uk literally i know hats impressive the guy that kicked me is a great kicker. I went home and ate a one ton lump of parmesan cheese then went to bed.